


Late Late

by taggiecb



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Briana is a character, Canon Compliant, Freddie is a character, Friends to Lovers, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, Niall is only mentioned, Post-Canon, dad louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-31 08:25:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taggiecb/pseuds/taggiecb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 Years after Louis becomes a father, and the band takes a permanent hiatus, Louis Tomlinson finds himself hosting his first episode of The Late Late Show. He's nervous, but lucky for him, his first guest is an old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late Late

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is my first exchange. I really hope I did it justice. I hope that everyone enjoys the story, especially the person for whom I wrote. 
> 
> I really hope you do not choose to scroll past because of Briana, and Freddie being part of the story, but I understand if it's something you are not comfortable reading. 
> 
> Much love to everyone.
> 
>  
> 
> And a huge thank you to Anitra for being there for the entire process. She really deserves writing credits here although she won't admit it. Xoxoxo

March 2, 2021

 

Louis isn’t nervous, he can't be nervous. He’s used to standing in front of tens of thousands of people. He’s had his face splashed across every form of social media that has ever existed. Louis _can’t_ be nervous.

Except he is. His palms are sweaty, he’s noticed that his feet do not want to stay still, and whenever he speaks, his voice is embarrassingly high. He checks his phone to see if he has time to call his mum again. He doesn’t, so he puts it on silent, sticks it in his pocket, and looks over his notes one last time.

 

FIVE YEARS AGO

 

“Are you sure about this Lou?” Harry is holding him by the shoulders. Concern is etched on his face.

“Not much choice is there?” Louis responds, trying to meet Harry’s eye but not quite able to. Harry’s hands tighten their grip for just a moment before releasing him with a sigh.

“There are options. There must be. We've had babies on tour. We could make it work…” He trails off, recognising the look on Louis’ face.

“You know that Briana will not go for that. Do you know how much paperwork I'm going to have to fill out just to take him home to England? I'm here now H. I'm an LA boy.” He tries to laugh, but with the stress of the last few months weighing down on him, it sounds like more of a sob. Harry embraces him once again, Louis let's him.

 

PRESENT

 

“Welcome everyone to the new, _and sorry James_ , improved, Late Late Show!!!! I am Louis Tomlinson. We have a great evening planned, so I hope you are ready! “ The audience applauds heartily as they are meant to. Louis starts in with his intro jokes, typed out on a cue card for him to read. He chats with the band for a moment, and after a commercial break he finds himself behind a desk. An empty seat is placed opposite.

“Now, as you know, it's my first time, so I think the people in the back wanted to be easy on me. They booked an absolute gem of a human. A man who is close to my heart, and millions of others, and he has agreed to come and hold my hand through my first hour as a television host. Please welcome the great Harry Styles!”

The audience cheers and claps once more. Louis can't help but notice that it's a little more boisterous this go around, but he doesn't care. He stands and walks around the desk so that he can get an armful of the man who he once called his best friend. Harry smiles wide when his gaze falls on Louis’ open arms. They fall into each other easily. When they part Louis gives a gesture to the audience that suggests they give another cheer for Harry. They do of course, talk show audiences are great like that. Once they both settle into their seats, and the noise dies down a little, Louis once again looks at Harry and smiles. Harry smiles back.

“Hello” Louis greets.

“Hi” Harry returns, smiling conspiratorially, and it takes a moment too long for Louis to realise that he's just staring.

“Right, an interview. So, how's it been Harold?” Harry chuckles, and raises a shoulder.

“It's been fine.” He counters, ever the conversationalist.

“I don't see you around my part of the world too often anymore. What have you been up to? How's the weather in England?”

“Oh, you know, I'm just enjoying my time being with friends, seeing the world. I haven't been home in a few months, but I'm sure it's raining in London right now.” Harry has always had a dry sense of humour. Sometimes it works for him, sometimes it doesn't. The audience gives him a laugh, and he turns to them confused. “What? Was that funny?” Louis chuckles at his awkwardness.

“No, it wasn't actually.” He teases, “Best leave the jokes to me Sunshine.” Harry blushes slightly, and gives him a little smile. Louis smiles back, because how can he not? “Let's move on to an easier question maybe. Whats going on here?” Louis makes a hand gesture, waving it in the general direction of Harry’s chest. Harry looks down, and smirks a little more.

“It's a shirt.” This time Louis knows he's taking the piss.

“It's covered in pink ducks.” Louis deadpans. Harry bursts forward with a bark escaping his lips. Louis loves that he can still make Harry laugh like this. He loves Harry's laugh. “Tell me Harold, how much did you pay for a pink duck shirt?” Louis raises his eyebrows in question. “Inquiring minds want to know. This is serious journalism here.” Harry is shaking his head and sealing his lips trying to not laugh out loud. Once the audience dies down he answers quietly.

“It was a gift.”

“Ooh, a gift. Who gifted you with such a prized treasure?”

“My sister.” Harry replies in a firm and clear tone.

“I'm calling Gemma to confirm this information H, because frankly, I don't believe you.” Harry laughs again, and it fuels something in Louis. He's about to try to tease another laugh from Harry's lips when he catches someone waving at him for commercial break. “We are going to take a little break, but when we come back we will be talking about something that Harry actually enjoys chatting about, work” Louis makes a face showing his opinion on work, and Harry barks out another loud laugh as the cameras fade for a few moments.

“This is great Lou, really. I'm so happy for you.” Harry's smile is genuine as he leans towards Louis. Louis beams. He can't help but be proud of himself. He loves his job already, and he can't wait to see where it brings him.

“Thanks, I'm pretty happy about it.”

“Are you happy?” Harry asks. It's a random question, but Louis finds that he can answer honestly.

“For the most part yes. I wouldn't trade Freddie for the world, but…” He's cut off by a signal that they are coming back.

“And we are back with Mr. Harry Styles. Harry, please tell us what you have been working on over the last few months. I, for one, am incredibly excited.”

“Well, I'm the voice of Prince Dauntless in the newest Disney movie. The Princess And The Pea.” The audience applauds. Harry nods his head to them in thanks. Louis waits for the noise to die down before he asks his next question.

“And how did you find that experience? What was it like to be a Disney prince?” Louis watches intently for Harry's answer.

“I've learned that I talk too slow.” Harry answers with a hint of a smirk decorating his lips, dimples creasing slightly.

“Well, this is brand new information Harry.” Laughter. “And will the animated prince look like you?”

“Well, it's originally a Danish story, so he's a bit more blonde. Maybe I should highlight myself for the premiere. What do you think?” Harry seems to genuinely want to know what Louis thinks of his hair idea. He reaches over his desk and puts a hand on Harry's arm.

“I think you look beautiful no matter what. You know that.” Harry gives him a warm smile when he looks back to Louis, and places his wide hand on Louis’ more slender one. “But since you mentioned it, Are you going to be at the Premiere here in LA? When is it?”

“Yes, I will be there. It's premiering July 9th. I was actually going to ask if maybe you and Freddie would like to come with me. They are having special activities for all of the young guests. I think he would enjoy it.” The request takes Louis by surprise. Him and Harry have barely spent any time together over the last few years. Freddie knows him mostly from pictures that Louis has around the house of all of the boys in their younger days. Harry must take his hesitation as a negative sign because he tacks on a “If you're not busy.” So quietly that Louis doubts that the cameras even picked it up.

“No, no I'd love to come. Freddie would have a blast. Thank you for inviting me...us.” He turns slightly away from Harry and addresses the audience. “We have to take another break, but when we come back we are going to show an exclusive clip of Harry's new movie The Princess and the Pea, premiering July 9th, and later we have a performance by Elle King!” The audience applauds, and the cameras fade once more.

Louis turns to Harry again, and finds Harry leaning in to speak to him. “I'm sorry for putting you on the spot. It's okay if you're busy.” Harry says to him.

“No! It's fine. I'd love to go. Just caught me by surprise that’s all." He smiles warmly, trying to reassure Harry.

“And Freddie? Will he be able to make it?”

“Honestly, he has more of a social life than I do, but it's far enough away that I should be able to work it out.”

“Great! Sounds great. I've kind of been missing you Lou.” Harry's voice is sincere. Louis finds himself agreeing.

“Same love. We should go out sometime, get a bite to eat or something.” The cameras, and handlers start gearing up to film again. Harry puts a hand on Louis shoulder.

“How about tonight?” He adds hurriedly. “I'll leave my number with your assistant. “

Louis pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Here, add your number, and leave it with my assistant. I will just lose a piece of paper.” Harry takes his phone like it's a precious treasure. 

“What's the code?”

“Freddie's birthday.”

They are brought back from break where they watch a clip of Harry as a prince falling in love with his beautiful princess. Louis smirks at the irony, but he of course doesn't say anything. Harry isn't out, and neither is Louis. They still have a lot of years left in the public eye. And they both decided for their own reasons to keep that part of themselves private for a little while longer. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not.

 

 

He wraps the show up by standing on stage talking to the singer about her new album, and gifting everyone with a copy. By the time he's released from his host duties Harry is gone, but his mobile is dutifully returned to his assistant. He checks to find Harry's number listed under _Y_ _our favourite Harry_ It was the first thing that Harry was ever listed as on Louis’ phone ten years prior. Harry said he was Louis’ best friend so having him listed as Harry Styles was too formal. The fact that Harry had remembered that after all these years makes Louis’ chest feel tight. He really does miss Harry. He didn't even let himself realise it until now. As his mind wanders down memory lane he gets a text.

_I actually am free tonight, if you want to do something._

_**Yeah, that sounds great. Do you want to go out, or come to the house?** _

_I'll come over. But you have to feed me._

_**Deal.** _

Louis can't really understand why he feels nervous, but he ignores it and makes his way to the market.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

Louis is one of those people who walks straight to their room after being out, and changes into the most comfortable thing they own. Today is no different, and so when he hears a buzz at his gate, he's already sporting his softest pair of sweats, and matching hoodie. He wonders immediately if that was a mistake when he opens his door to Harry decked out in a soft blue silk button up, and tight black trousers. His feet are clad in black boots with a bit of shine. Louis gives him a once over, and moves aside to let Harry through.

“I have to say H, I am feeling horribly under dressed right now.” Harry turns to give Louis a similar look, and just smiles.

“I didn't really expect any different.”

“Hey, what are you saying?” Louis replies feigning indignation.

“That we've met.” Harry smiles wider. “You haven't changed all that much.”

“You might be surprised.” Louis smirks as Harry's gives his best sarcastic eye roll. “So, I haven't started anything for dinner. What are you in the mood for?” Louis starts making his way to the kitchen. Harry follows him, his eyes openly admiring his surroundings.

“I thought we were going to order in.” Harry replies, not really paying attention. He's distracted by a shelf that is littered with framed pictures. Most of them his family, a few friends.

“Why should we order in? I have food.” Harry looks at him then, confusion clear on his face.

“You are going to cook?” His tone isn't condescending, just purely unbelieving.

“Yes?”

“You.”

“Where are you going with this Styles?”

“I...I guess I just have never known you to enjoy or make an effort in... cooking.” Harry says slowly, trying to sound gentle.

“I'm an almost 30 year old single man with a child. Some things you have to learn.” Louis replies bluntly. He can see that it takes Harry back, realisation settling in his face.

“I guess you're right.” He responds quietly, which makes Louis even more confused.

“So, what do you say? I'm in the mood for a burger. It's nice enough to grill. I've even got a few beer.”

“Perfect.”

 

Louis is giving himself silent pats on the back as Harry is stretched out on one of the lounge chairs on the back deck. Their meal was delicious. Louis will never admit how much work he put in to impress Harry. They are enjoying a comfortable silence, each sipping a beer when Harry speaks up.

“Something’s missing.” He points out.  Louis turns his head lazily to look at him.

“Oh yeah? What's that?”

“I don't know.” Harry looks towards him, eyes squinting as if trying to see something that isn't there. Suddenly realisation hits.

“You're not smoking!” Harry beams.

“No, I'm not smoking.”

“You quit?” Louis could hear the word _finally_ implied in the sentence.

“Yeah, a while ago.” He simply replied.

“What made you decide?”

Louis studies him for a moment. It's not so common anymore for people to ask questions when that they genuinely want to know that answer. But Harry's not like that, he never has been anyway. “Freddie.” He says quietly. “Plus it's a disgusting habit, it was well past time.” Harry just nods, and continues to stare out to the horizon. The bottle in his hand is empty, and forgotten.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing." He protests, although his facial expression does not change. "Nothing at all. I guess it just hit me how much we've just lost touch. Five years didn't seem like that long of a time until I realise how much your life has changed, and how much mine hasn't."

“My life changed long before we lost touch H.”

“We didn't really lose touch though did we?” Harry sighs.

“No, I guess we didn't.”

 

FIVE YEARS AGO

 

“Are you mad at me?” Louis’ voice cracks a little as he asks. He just had to tell the other boys that he was out of the band. They decided to keep it as an extended hiatus in the public eyes, but they all knew it was over.

“No.” Harry replies resolutely, but he doesn't look Louis' in the eye.

“But you're leaving me.” Louis pushes.

“I'm not leaving you Lou. It's just, you have this. And I'm not sure what I want to do now, you know, with my life. I need to figure out how to be on my own.” Louis feels like he's being punched in the stomach.

“That's not what friends do. We are family. That's not what family does! ” Louis rambles, clinging to Harry's shirt sleeves.

“But we aren't. You have a family, and I need to figure out what I want.” Louis doesn't reply, but he doesn't give Harry the satisfaction of his approval. Instead, choosing to turn around and walk out of the room.

 

PRESENT

 

“It was weird wasn't it?” Louis says quietly.

“What?” Harry huffs.

“We were friends, brothers. But you left, you left me. We weren't just friends were we?”

“No, I guess we weren't.” Harry mumbles, resigned.

“What about now?” Louis breaths. He's scared for the answer.

“I don't want to go back to nodding and smiling when we are at the same party.” Harry replies with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Then we won't.” Louis responds with resolution. Although he isn't certain “We definitely won't do that.”

Harry nods in agreement. They agree to meet up soon while Harry is based in LA. When they part ways later that night Louis feels that he has something back that he lost a long time ago. It doesn't take long for the weight of the day to overcome Louis, and he collapses in bed to a dreamless slumber.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

He's ripped from his sleep by incessant pounding in the distance. His fog addled brain tells him to yell to Freddie to stop tearing the house down until he remembers that Freddie isn't home. He sits up slowly and realises the noise is coming from his front door. He hauls himself out of bed and stumbles into the entryway. When he opens it he is greeted by his pr agent. She looks like she's about to spiral into a mental breakdown, but she looks like that most of the time she's dealing with Louis. He's told that he brings that out in people. Louis disagrees.

“Sharon, what the hell?” Louis tries to sound miffed, but at this point he's more curious than anything. “What time is it?”

“7:30” Sharon wheezes out. The beating she was putting on the door must have worn her out. “I tried to call...and text several times.” Louis realises that his phone, which is usually attached to his hand, is missing. He hadn't looked at it once since Harry had come over the night before.

“My mobile must be dead.” He panics for a moment realising that if something had happened with Freddie he wouldn’t know. He spins on his heel and goes straight for the place he last saw it, and plugs it into the nearest charger. He hears Sharon close the door and follow him to the kitchen while he watches his phone light up.

“I'm assuming you haven't taken a look at your social media this morning?” Sharon asks while pulling a laptop from her carrier.

“No, you bloody woke me up.” Louis replies irritably as he scrolls through his missed calls and texts. He breathes a sigh of relief when none of them are from Briana, and sets the phone down to pay attention to the scene in front of him.

“Well, as you know, your show aired last night. Did you watch?” Louis shakes his head no. “It was really good. You and Harry were wonderful.” Louis can hear the hesitation in her voice. “And that's where the problem lies.

“Problem?”

“It seems that people were really enjoying the chemistry between you two. Twitter is blowing up. As is YouTube. Tumblr….well you know.” Louis freezes.

“Larry Stylinson?” The words feels strange in his mouth. It's been so long since he's even thought about that part of his 1D life. It didn't occur to him that anyone even believed that anymore. The rumours that he's gay never really went away. Which, for good reason he guesses? But Louis and Harry had barely been in the same room for years. “Does Harry know?”

“I do not know. I don't have his contact information, and his representation wouldn't even take my call.” Louis rolls his eyes at that. Harry, as sweet as he is, always manages to surround himself with the most pretentious people. He picks up his mobile and clicks Harry's name. He sees that Harry hasn't tried to contact him, so maybe he doesn't know. Maybe he doesn't care.

_**Guess who’s back?** _

He clicks send wondering if he would even get a reply at this hour of the day. He doesn't have to wonder long because his phone rings almost immediately.

“Hey” he greets Harry.

“Hi, yeah my assistant gave me a rude wake up call nice and early this morning.” Harry responds as though they were already in the middle of a conversation.

“Hm, mine too. Tried to bang my door in just now. Are you OK?”

“Yeah, of course. Nothing that hasn't happened before innit?”

“Just like old times.” Louis jokes, but his voice is quiet. He looks over to Sharon who is trying to get his attention. “Harry, is your assistant with you now?” Harry responds with a yeah. “My team wants to meet with yours.” Louis informs him with dread in his voice. It is just like old times.

“Yeah, my people said the same thing. They know how big this was back then. They don't know if ignoring everything is the route to take.”

“Can I just give you Sharon’s number then? Let them work it out?”

“Yeah, of course. Text me the details.” Harry seems distracted, so Louis decides to let him get back to whatever he was doing.

“Listen H, I haven't even had a cup of tea yet. I'm just going to sort myself, and get all of this worked out. Sound OK to you?” He could hear Harry deep breathing. “Yeah, sounds good Lou, call me later yeah?” He says breathlessly between puffs of air. Louis’ mind goes to places that it shouldn't, but his mind works like that most of the time anyway.

“Harry, what are you doing? ” Curiosity takes over him.

“Running, why?” Louis rolls his eyes.

“I thought you were home. With your...assistant.” He can hear Harry chuckle. He knows how Louis’ mind works too.

“Treadmill. We work out together in the mornings.” Of course they do.

“I'm hanging up now.” And he does, but not before he hears a booming laugh from the other end of the line. He looks over at Sharon and tries to imagine having the kind of relationship with her where they would work out in the mornings. His nose wrinkles involuntarily, and he shakes the thought.

A cup of tea did not magically appear in front of him, so he turns to the kettle to make it himself. Sharon pays him no attention as he prepares a cup, she is still typing furiously at his kitchen island.

“I'm sending your contact info to Harry.” Louis offers her. He sips his tea, and casually scrolls through his twitter mentions. Nothing he hasn't seen before. He's just not used to being that interesting anymore.

“Good, great. If they will agree I would like to set up a meeting with all of us ASAP.” She starts packing her belongings back into her bag, and picks up her phone. “I have a few things to do. Can you send me your schedule for today?” She asks without actually looking at Louis.

“Yeah, sure. Is there anything else I can do for you? ” He asks sarcastically.

“No, that's all for now. See you this afternoon.” She replies, obviously not getting the message. Then she's gone, as fast as she come, and he's sitting alone in his kitchen.

He looks at the clock, not even 8:30am on a Wednesday. No sense of going back to bed, he decides to hop in the shower and get on with his day.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

Louis finds himself sitting in a small board room in Television City where his show is taped. He is surrounded by a few of his own team, a few people he had yet to be introduced, and to his left, Harry. There is literally nothing similar to any of the many meetings that the two of them had been dragged into in his time with the band, but the feeling of dread is still there. He can feel Harry lean his body towards him as he stabs at a piece of mandarin in his salad bowl.

“War flashbacks?” Harry's voice whispers into his ear causing the corners of his mouth to tilt up. He nods once in acknowledgement. “Me too.” Harry says with an edge of conspiracy. He moves away again, but not before he puts his hand on Louis’ thigh and gives it a firm squeeze. It's surprisingly comforting, and Louis can feel his mood lift slightly.

There's a round of quick introductions. Everyone is friendly, and civil, and as soon as they are all seated Harry's head pr manager Tony speaks up.

“Thank you everyone for taking time from your schedules to meet today. Personally I want to say that the only reason we are here is to keep everyone happy and comfortable with their public image. Everyone agrees?” A round of nods and murmurs of affirmations rise around the table. “OK, good. So the first thing we should do I guess is see what, if anything, we want to come of this.” Tony looks expectantly at Harry. Harry, as he always used to do at times like this, looks at Louis.

“Um,” Louis speaks out. He really has no idea what to say. What does he want? “Well, first, I am not coming out right now. The show just started. I have been comfortable where I am in the public eye. I'm happy to keep it there.” He looks towards Harry, who is still staring hard into his eyes. There is no joy, or anger, he's just waiting for Louis to continue on. “And Harry and I would really like to continue to be free with our friendship, and that includes public acknowledgement, if that's possible.” He looks towards Harry again, silently urging him to speak up for himself. Harry turns to Tony.

“I'm fine with coming out.” By the look of Tony’s face this is the first he has heard about it. “But not for promo, and not because tabloids are pressuring me.” He concludes, a look of satisfaction spreading across his face. “But since the subject is on the table. I think it's time for me. It's March now. The movie premiers in July. After my duties of promoting the movie is over, I think I would be ready.” The silence in the room is palpable, everyone staring at the pair. Tony speaks first.

“Ok, that’s fine. We can do that. ” Louis can tell that Tony is excited. He seems like the kind of guy who likes a challenge. “So how do we spin this Larry thing?” Louis winces at the name. _Larry Stylinson_. The love/hate relationship that never was. He can see across from him that Sharon is ready to speak her piece.

“I think that if you want to continue to be close with Harry you are going to need to be prepared for people assuming you are, or at the very least were a couple.” Louis gives her a curt nod. He's been used to that for a decade. “But as far as right now, I know a past attempt was to hide your… friendship, and attempt to smother the flame of suspicion. “ Louis catches a minuscule  eye roll, and he can't help but smile in agreement. “That wasn't as successful as some would have hoped.” Obviously, Louis thinks to himself “So, my suggestion would be to showcase it. Show people you have nothing to hide. Let them decide for themselves. It's not foolproof. Sometimes when people make up their minds, there's nothing we can do to change it.” She gives him a small shrug, and he nods again, conveying his approval. His concentration is pulled once again to his left where Harry stands and begins shaking hands with everyone in the room.

“Thank you everyone for being so cooperative. Tony and I have a bit more to talk about, but we don't need to be invading your time and space.” He turns to Louis last. “Thanks” he says quietly. Louis thinks it's more than for the meeting.

“No problem” Louis counters.

“You busy tonight?” Harry pushes on.

“No, I'm not actually.” He does a little check in his head anyway. He thinks he's free.

“Remember what we used to do after most of these meetings?” Louis looks at him confused.

“All I remember is getting drunk off my ass.” He quips.

“Hey! I was there too.” Harry pouts. “So, do you want to?” Louis laughs out loud, causing Harry to grin wide at him.

“No sense in breaking tradition.”

 

~•○●●○•~

 

Harry shows up at 7pm on the minute. He's holding a case of beer in each hand. “I didn't know if you still liked either of these” He announces in greeting. Louis just shrugs his shoulders, and ushers him towards the kitchen.

They get their first beers cracked, a bowl of snack mix between them when Harry turns towards Louis. “Is it really just work?” He asks with a gentle, and sincere tone in his voice. Louis stares at him blankly for a moment before he realises what Harry is trying to say.

“No, it's not just work. The thought of coming out scares the hell out of me.” He replies, his voice quiet, and monotone.

“Can I ask why?” And the question is genuine. Not that Louis would mind anyway.

“It's a lot of things I guess. What would people think? What would they say? Would people hate me for closeting myself for so long? Would Freddie get bullied for having a gay dad?” His voice catches just slightly because the idea of anything hurting his baby makes him want to rip his heart to shreds.

“Lou, I think it would be OK. I mean, I know I'm not one to give advice, but don't you want more? More than just Freddie and your work?” If anyone else ever suggested that Freddie wasn't enough, he'd probably shut them down right on the spot, but this is Harry. Harry is trying to help. Harry has only ever wanted the best for Louis.

“I do. I want someone to share my life with. Someone who I love more than anything. And maybe if I found that person, and had someone I love to hold my hand through it, I would have the courage.”

“You are courageous enough on your own Lou.” Harry says. He knows that Harry believes it, but he also knows that it isn't true.

“Drink up.” Louis replies, and conversation ends as quickly as it begun.

 

Louis is drunk. And as with most people who rarely drink, he feels the need to express himself. Lucky for him, he has someone to talk to tonight. “Harry, I'm drunk.” He looks to his right to where Harry is once again stretched over his lounge chair, staring into the hills. Harry just snorts. Louis doesn't think that Harry believes him. “S’riously,” he slurs out. “I'm soooooo drunk.” Harry actually looks at him again, actually really looks at him. It's a little weird, and Louis starts to squirm. “What?” he asks defensively.

“You're drunk.” Harry tells him. Duh Harry.

“I KNOW. I just told you that.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“How are you drunk? You only drank, like, six pints of beer.” Harry seems so confused. Which is making Louis confused and he's too drunk for that.

“Well for one, I drank way more than six beer. And plus also, I only get drunk once a year on AVERAGE.” Whoa, he thinks. The word average came out _way_ too loud. “average” he whispers.

“Oh right, Freddie.”He stretches out the name, and sighs. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He repeats out loud.

“Nothing Lou, I swear." He shakes his head enthusiastically. Sometimes I just forget. Dad Louis.” Louis can hear him mumble “sweird” under his breath.

“Hey, maybe you wouldn't forget about Freddie if you actually hung out with him. He's incredibly cool. LIKE HIS DAD!” That time he meant to be loud. Pound some sense in that boy.

“I don't forget about Freddie Lou, just… never mind. I'm sorry, for not being around and everything. I want to hang out with Freddie.” Louis is satisfied with the apology. His mind wandering over the images of Harry and Freddie together. Sitting on the floor playing with his trucks, footie in the back garden, back to back episodes of Thomas the Train because they “sound like Doris, and Ernie” Louis always wonders, why don't they sound like Dad?

“Harry? Have I lost my accent? Do I sound American?”

“Not quite yet babe.”

“Freddie doesn't say that Thomas sounds like me.” He pouts, and all Harry can do is stare in confusion.

“Alright, time for Louis to go to bed.” Harry gets up and reaches out a hand to help Louis out of his own lounge chair.

“No! Not ready. Come down and cuddle me.” Louis gives a good tug, and Harry almost falls directly on top of Louis. He catches himself just in time for their heads to not collide, but Louis doesn't let go, and reaches his other hand to wrap himself around Harry's waist. Harry doesn’t protest. He just readjusts himself so that they are both comfortable. “Cold” He mumbles into Harry's curls, and tucks himself in closer to Harry's side.

“Then why didn't you want to go in?”

“Don't want you to go, miss you.” The confession slips out, but he means it, so he lets it stand.

“I won't go if you don't want me to.” Harry replies with sincerity.

“Yeah? All night?” Louis doesn't know why this is important to him all of a sudden, but Harry is nodding, and it causes Louis’ heart to skip. “Let's go in then.”

They stumble into the house, Harry is dragging Louis while Louis is trying to pull his shoes off and walk at the same time.

“Jesus Louis, are you trying to kill yourself?” Harry asks when Louis almost lands face first into a glass coffee table. Louis grunts, and gives him his best disgruntled look.

“I'm trying to get undressed so I can go to bed. Like you told me to.” Louis replies with a heavy dose of indignation. He grabs Harry's hand, and starts pulling him to the back of the house. “Come.” He says simply. Harry does.

Louis opens the door to his bedroom, and immediately face plants in his large bed. It's soft, and the sheets are clean thanks to his very patient cleaning person. He manages to burrow his way under the sheets without getting back up, and when he gets comfortable he sees that Harry is still standing in the door.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks.

“Making sure you're safe before I go to get a glass of water, check my twitter, email mum,and crash.”

“That was an oddly specific list Harry Styles.” Louis observes, tongue stumbling over the syllables. “Are you tricking me into thinking you are staying?” He sees Harry glance at the floor, a hint of smile creeping on his face. “You were totally going to wait until I was asleep, and then you were going to leave!” Harry busts out a laugh, and shakes his head. “Come on H, come lay down with me.” Harry hesitates for a moment, but with a sigh he eventually makes his way towards the bed, slipping off his shoes before he stretches out on the other side.

“Comfy?” Louis asks after a moment.

“Yes, very.” Harry says dutifully.

“Would you be more comfortable under the covers?” Harry looks over to him. His face straight.

“Probably not.”

“You could at least give me a cuddle. For old times sake.” Louis grumps. Harry sighs and reaches his arm out for Louis to crawl into. It's not as comfortable with Louis under the covers, so he kicks them off. “Mmm” Louis moans when he finally settles. “It's been a long time since I've done this.”

“Cuddle? ” Harry asks.

“Yeah, long time since I've had anyone in my bed. Any adult anyway.”

“Yeah.” Harry says, seeming to agree.

“Feels good. I miss touching people. Miss feeling their breath on my skin.” Without giving it a second thought, Louis moves his hand down so that he can feel in between the hem of Harry's shirt, and his jeans. His skin feels hot, and smooth, and Louis is craving it more than anything he's ever wanted.

“Lou, “ Harry breaths, still not moving. Louis moves his hand up further feeling the curve of Harry's abs, he traces the laurels on his hips from memory. He wants to touch someone so much, and Harry is right here, and he shouldn't. He shouldn't ask, but he can't stop himself from asking.

“Please Harry?” He stops moving his hand, but makes his grip on his hip harder, digging his fingers deep into the soft skin. Harry pants out a few breaths and with one motion he turns his whole body into Louis’ and rasps a deep, and gravely “Fuck it.” before he kisses him deeply. It's too demanding to be romantic, but his mouth is soft, and Harry's tongue licks along the bottom of his lip, encouraging Louis to give him access. Louis opens his mouth, and Harry moves in deeper, towering over Louis, their mouths still linked.

Louis moves his hand up to Harry's shoulders, and pushes his shirt away from his neck. Harry puts his weight on one hand, mouth still on him, and uses the other hand to unbutton his shirt, allowing Louis to push it down entirely. Louis goes for his own worn t shirt next, and tugs it over his head in one quick motion, this gives Harry access to his chest, and he starts trailing wet kisses down towards his belly.

“I'm gonna blow you OK?” Harry asks, looking up from where he's sucking, and licking Louis’ hip. Louis nods his permission. Harry takes his sweats in both hands, and pulls them down to his knees in one swift movement. He immediately covers Louis’ semi hard dick with his mouth, kissing, and licking his way from the base to the tip.

“Fuck babe, that feels good.” Louis breaths. Harry gives him a few pumps with his spit covered hand, and immediately tries to deep throat him. The overwhelming sensation causes Louis to buck his hips, and grip Harry's hair, wishing he could hold onto the feeling forever. Harry let him without protest. It's the hottest thing Louis has ever seen. “Fuck baby, take it so well don't you?” Harry hums, but doesn't make a move, so Louis bucks into his mouth again. The movement causes him to pull on Harry's hair, and the filthy sound that comes from Harry's mouth makes Louis white out a little. He can feel Harry brace himself for Louis, and so he gives him what he seems to want. Louis gives him a few steady pumps before releasing him for a moment. Harry comes away for a breath, but goes straight back, waiting for more. Louis doesn't know if he will last much longer with Harry's hot breath, and slick tongue surrounding him. But all he can think is fuck fuck fuck.

“Can I fuck you?” He puffs through clenched teeth. He won't know unless he asks. Harry removes his mouth immediately. He comes up to once again hover over Louis, and hesitates only for a moment before he nods.

“Yeah... Yes.” He moves to get up, but Louis grabs him, and flips them so that Harry is the one lying on his back. He kisses him once, hard and deep, and can taste himself on Harry's lips, It makes his dick jump, as though it could get any harder.

He makes quick work of Harry's jeans and pants, while simultaneously ridding himself of his own joggers that had tangled at his angles. He sits back on his haunches to admire the beauty of Harry, who has a few more tattoos than Louis remembers, and Louis has never seen him flushed, and hard before. He wishes he could take a picture and hang it over his mantle.

“You're beautiful.” He stated. Harry blushes.

“Shut up.” Harry replies, but Louis kisses him again, preventing any further argument.

“Turn over.” Louis demands, and Harry does without argument. Louis reaches for lube and a condom, his torso stretching to reach the nightstand without disconnecting from the heat of Harry's body.

“Don't need a lot Lou, like it a little rough.” Louis doesn't think it would take a rocket scientist to realise that, but he agrees, and slips a lubed fingers in quickly, and fully. Harry gasps, but pushes into it, panting heavily. “Fuck, that's good.” The sound of Harry's wrecked voice goes straight to Louis’ dick as he adds another finger, and starts pumping. Harry whimpers, and tucks his head into the pillow. Louis continues to thrust into him with his fingers. He can feel Harry grinding into the sheets beneath him.

“Are you desperate for it H? Want my cock?” Louis presses in far and feels his fingers hit Harry's prostate hard. Harry shouts out a yes, and Louis wastes no time covering himself with the condom. He pulls Harry's hips up so that he's on his knees, and pushes in.

Harry is so tight that Louis is worried that he is going to actually hurt him, but Harry is moaning, and it's filthy. All Louis can think is more, more, more. He bottoms out, and gives Harry a second before starting to pump himself in and out.

“So good Harry. Fuck, you're tight. Gonna come like this?”

"Yeah, harder. Want more.” Harry begs, and Louis doesn't know how he could take much more, but he presses his hand into Harry’s lower back, causing it to arch, and grinds into him with all of his weight slamming into Harry's body. Harry cries out with a slur of yes, and more, and fuck. Louis doesn't have the power to resist the pull of his orgasm. He just hopes that Harry isn't far off either.

“You gotta come for me babe. Come on H.” He reaches around and grabs Harry's rock hard dick, it only takes a few pumps before Harry is crying out, and coming into Louis’ hand. The sound of his orgasm is what pushes Louis over the edge, and he slams into Harry, feeling encompassed by him. It's entirely overwhelming, and he collapses half on top of Harry's heaving form, his softening dick sliding out.

He manages to get the condom off before Harry koalas himself onto Louis, and passes out hard. Louis takes a moment to think about how stupid he is before he gives into the drag of exhaustion.

 

Louis wakes up to his face mushed into his pillow, on the wrong side of the bed. It's definitely daylight. Louis slowly starts to feel the affects of last night all over his body. From the slight pounding in his head to the tell tale aches of a good fuck. Fuck, he can't think like that. It's Harry. Harry is not just a good fuck. But what is he? Can he ever look him in the eye again? He rubs a hand over his face, and rolls onto his back, mentally preparing the apology text. He just about pisses himself when he comes face to face with Harry himself. He's sitting up with his pillows propped behind him tapping away at his phone.

“Fucking hell Harry.” Harry spares him a glance before returning to his screen.

“What? I'm just sitting here.” His tone is abrupt, and dismissive. Louis feels a knot in the pit of his stomach.

“Why are you looming over me? How long have you been awake?” Louis asks while stretching and trying to become more alert.

“Dunno.” Harry shrugs “A few minutes.” Louis slowly sits up. As the memories start to filter in, a wave of self consciousness takes over. When he's sitting, and eye level, Harry puts his phone down, and focuses fully on him. “So.” He says.

“Yeah, so.” Louis retorts. “Last night.” He stutters to a stop, not really knowing what the next words should be.

“Was amazing.” Harry finishes. “And not just the...last part. I'm glad we are spending time together.” Harry is hesitant, but smiling. Louis finds himself smiling back.

“Yeah, it's great to see you again. All of you.” Louis jokes, and Harry laughs.

“I don't like that we've missed out on this.” Harry gives a cheeky wink.

“Harry, we were friends!” Louis places his hand on his chest in mock indignation.

“And we still are. Aren't we?” Harry reaches up to sweep the hair falling into Louis’ eyes, and it's exactly the same way that Harry would have done five years ago, ten years ago. They are still friends.

“Yeah, we are.”

“Are you ok?” Harry asks. Concern clear on his face, but Louis really feels OK.

“I am. Thank you for asking.”

“Ok, want to get something to eat? When do you have to work?”

“I'm not going in today actually. I'm out until Monday.” His shows are prerecorded for the next two days, and he has Freddie as soon as he's home from school this afternoon. “We can meet for brunch if you want to go home to change.”

“Sounds good, I'll text you alright?” Louis just nods and tries to not stare at Harry's ass when he climbs out of bed. “Bye Lou!” he hears Harry shout before he's gone. Louis thinks it's going to be a good day.

 

April 10, 2021

 

Louis loves the time that's he's been spending with Harry. It's not just that he missed him. He missed that part of his life. All of the people who were in his “1D” family are all so important to him. But they are busy carving their own paths. He's got best friends of course, but no one that gets that part of him.

Another part of enjoying Harry's company is that Freddie is absolutely obsessed with him. The first thing that Freddie noticed upon meeting Harry was his British accent. “just like Ernie, and Doris!!!” Seriously, this kid knows other British people. What's his deal? The second thing Freddie noticed was the sparkle of Harry's shoes. “They light up just like mine!” Harry laughed for a full minute, Louis is sure. And of course, because he is Harry, he brought Freddie a gift. Which pretty much sealed the deal.

“You didn't have to do that.” Louis whispered, after Harry climbed up from the floor, trying to avoid stepping on the intricate train village spreading through the sitting room.

“I kind of did.” Harry replied with a sheepish grin on his face. “I have a lot to make up for with him. And you too.” Freddie gets up, and gives Harry a big hug around his legs, Louis wanted to do the same.

 

The three of them quickly become thick as thieves. There is rarely a day that Freddie is with Louis that he doesn't ask what Harry is doing. And there's rarely a time that he calls that Harry doesn't drop everything to come see them, which makes this Saturday afternoon a typical weekend by now. Louis is packing a lunch for the three of them while Harry argues with Freddie over his choice of beach towel.

"But look at this one Freddie!" Harry exclaims with mock enthusiasm, "It has a giant beach ball on it!" He doesn't mention the words _Life's a Beach_ are also emblazoned on it, a bit mature for the five year old.

“But it's got you and Daddy on it. Do you not like Daddy?”

"Of course I like your daddy, and the other boys as well, but it's my face on it that I'm not so sure of." Harry grimaces at the old photo, Harry still in short curls, so childlike even compared to the rest of them. "Where did you even get this anyway?"

"Nanny Jay gave it to me.  I love it more than anything in the world." Freddie pouts, and bats his eyes. Louis can see Harry's resolve crumble as he stares from the towel to Freddie's face.

“Alright, fine. Put it in the bag. Now what about shorts? They don't have my face on them too do they?” Harry huffs as they make their way to Freddie's room. The domesticity of it all does strange things to Louis’ heart.

 

Freddie loves the beach. He's a true California boy. Or at least that's what Briana calls him when she's trying to piss Louis off. Never mind that Louis cried into his pillow one night when, after a week of straight rain Freddie told Louis that he hated England, and wanted to go home. His mom tells him that everyone makes sacrifices for their children. Louis told her that he was going to write a tell all book. She just smiled sympathetically.

But walking along the beach this day, with the breeze cool, and the sun hot. He thinks it's not so bad. Having Harry to talk to isn't so bad either.

“Harry.” Louis tries to catch his attention. They are walking side by side, but Harry seems to be in his own world watching Freddie, and a couple of other kids he met kick his football around. Freddie is explaining the rules to them while they seem to be more interested in just kicking it into one another's faces. Harry flicks his eyes towards Louis in acknowledgement of his name being said.

“You don't live in LA anymore.” Louis continues. Harry snorts.

“I have a house here.” He replies.

“When was the last time you've spent an entire month in California. Or even in the States?”

“I was in New York last week.” Harry responds.

“You were there for what, three interviews, and flew straight back to LA.” Harry looks like he's about to defend himself, so Louis touches his arm to get him to look Louis face to face. “Listen, I'm glad you're around. I've been having a blast with you. I'm just wondering… is everything okay?” Relief spreads across Harry's face. He begins to walk again.

“I'm fine Lou. I'm great actually. I'm enjoying you too.” It takes Louis back a little.

“You are putting your life on hold to hang out with me and my five year old… Why?”

“Oh my God. I'm not putting my life on hold. I'm living my life. Just here, with you. I know this is weird, but I love you Lou. You're family. I am actually feeling a little selfish. I'm sure I'm keeping you from quality time with him.” He nods towards Freddie, who is now lying on his back making starfish in the sand. Louis takes a dad moment to imagine the sand that he's going to have to clean out of the bath before he focuses on Harry again.

“Well, I hope you don't think of us as brothers.” Louis ribs. Harry snorts, and shakes his head.

“No, definitely not brothers. That's the last thing I think about with you.” Louis can definitely see the flush of Harry's cheeks.

“Oh yeah? What do you think about then?” Louis nudges Harry with his shoulder.

“I think about how good of friends we are naturally.” Harry teases, but then puffs out a breath, and looks to the sky. “But yeah, that night passes through my mind every once in awhile.”

“So… in a good way, or…” Louis knows that he's pushing, he really doesn't care.

“At first in a bad way. I was scared that it would mess us up. And I don't know that we were doing that great to begin with. But here we are. I think it was good.” The blush returns to Harry's cheeks. “You were really good.”

Louis’ chest flutters, and he's ignoring his dick. “Um, thanks.” Louis pushes through his embarrassment to add, “You were actually quite amazing yourself.”

“Yeah. It's a shame really.” Harry sounds like he's trying to joke, but Louis can hear a hint of sincerity in his voice, andcan't say that he disagrees.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

They make it back home in time to clean Freddie up, and get him packed for his mother to pick him up for the week. Louis would normally have him until Sunday night, but it's some relative’s birthday, and Briana asked to have him ages ago. It doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. But then again it's never easy, no matter how much time he spends with him.

“Goodnight little lad. I'll see you after school on Friday ok?” Louis holds him tight.

“Dad, I'm not a little lad anymore. I'm Freddie Reign Tomlinson. And I'm 5.” Freddie informs him, not for the first time. Louis nods his head in agreement, giving him one more squeeze before Freddie skips towards the car, and falls into his mother's waiting arms. She gives him a little wave, and they pull out.

Louis sighs and turns back into the house to find Harry waiting with a beer in each hand.

“We can go out.” Harry offers, passing him the cold bottle.

“You go ahead H. I'm kind of knackered. Days on the beach used to be relaxing.” He jokes although he really doesn't want Harry to leave. He doesn't want to spend the night alone. Harry responds by moving to the living room, and dropping gently onto the couch.

“That's OK. I'm good here. Want to order in?” Harry offers again. Louis guesses he's got company. He might as well not look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Yeah, let's. Maybe find something to watch.” Harry picks up the remote and turns on the big screen that's mounted to the wall.”

“TV, or movie?” He asks flipping through the channels.

“I have a media room, if you rather. Make a proper movie night.” Louis says as he's flipping through an online menu.

“Nah, wanna cuddle on the couch.” Harry says off hand. It's not a big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal. Harry loves to cuddle. They used to do it all the time. But Louis can't help but flash back to the last time he touched Harry.

 _The night_ , as Louis refers to it, was a one off. Never to be seen again. For one night, and one night only. As an adult Louis should be able to slip back into their old habits without letting the night affect anything.

But then again, they are adults, and they are both single. If they can remain friends through the first time, what's the harm in helping each other out?

“Lou?” A deep voice breaks through his fog. He startles only a little, and busies himself by refreshing his screen.

“Yeah? Find something to watch?” Louis asks, cheeks flushing. He feels like he's been caught with his hands down his pants.

“Um, yes. Fast And Furious 12 I think it is?” Harry scrunches an eyebrow, probably trying to count in his head how many of these things he's watched. “Did you find something to eat? You were studying that menu awfully hard.” Harry is teasing him, Louis can see the glint in his eye. Louis wonders if Harry realises that he's affecting Louis right now. He shakes his head. Of course he doesn't. Friends, they are just friends. He just needs to get laid. Harry, he's sure, doesn't have that problem.

“Here,” Louis passes him the phone. “You pick something. I can't decide.” Harry accepts the phone, and Louis makes his way to the bathroom, trying to pretend he's doesn't need to prepare for a night of close contact with Harry.

 

Louis is standing in his en suite staring in the mirror. His eyes are a little glassy, and his brow is a little sweaty, but he doesn't look too awful. He thinks he'll be OK.

“So you wanked in the bathroom with your best friend in the other room.” He tells his reflection. “So you may have said your best friend's name while you were doing it.” The reflection looks slightly disapproving. Louis powers through. “It's not the worse thing you've ever done. And you didn't do this for you. You did this for your friendship. For Harry.” He hears the gate buzz in the distance.

“Lou! Foods here, I don't know your codes!” He wipes his hands over his face, and gives himself one last look.

“For Harry.”

 

Louis has seen this movie. Or at least he thinks he has. The plot is familiar, and he has no trouble following along. Harry wasn't joking about wanting a cuddle. As soon as they were finished eating Louis leaned back into the corner of his sectional, and Harry curled into his chest. It took all of ten minutes for Louis to find his hands massaging Harry's scalp, and pulling his fingers through his hair. Harry practically purrs, and Louis would be sure that he's put him to sleep from the deep breathing that Harry is doing against his chest, if it weren't for all of the squirming.

By the time the movie is half over Louis isn't really paying attention. He is letting his mind wander to remembering the day, and maybe the next few. He's also reminiscing to times that he's spent with Harry just like this. It's a warm feeling deep in his belly, and he feels quite content. He's so wrapped up in his thoughts that he tangles Harry's hair around one of his fingers, and without thinking he gives it a short tug. Harry gasps. Louis hooks Harry's shoulder with his chin, and whispers a “sorry” into his ear, but when he does the light of the screen illuminates Harry's body stretched out in front of him. And he's _hard_. His erection is straining at the fly of his jeans, and for the first time since they sat down Louis notices how tense, and taut the rest of his body is. Without thinking Louis slides his arm around Harry's waist, and cups his erection. Harry immediately sits up trying to cover himself. He looks at Louis with guilt all over his face, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“You're hard.” Louis whispers in awe.

“I'm sorry, I really am.” Harry responds, scooting away from Louis. Louis reaches for his wrist, stilling him. He hesitates for a moment before he moves forward, and straddles Harry, moving his hands back into his hair. He weaves his fingers into the curls, and gives a little experimental pull. Harry gasps again, and tilts his head back, his mouth open, and his slender throat exposed. Louis takes a chance, and leans forward to place a hot, wet kiss on that throat. “Lou! “ Harry barks out. “Lou, what are you…” Louis moves away.

“Do you want this?” Louis asks, looking into Harry's eyes, trying to gauge his answer.

“I do but...friends.” Harry manages to force out of his mouth.

“We were still friends after last time. I think… I think we could do this...and stay friends.”

“Yeah?” Harry starts to move his hands up Louis’ back. He rests them on Louis’ shoulders, pulling him in.

“I want it. I can't… I can't just go to a club and pull. I can't just bring a guy home. God Harry it's been so long. Please. We can still be friends. I promise.”

This seems to be as much convincing that Harry needs because he's pulling Louis into a kiss, and his hands start to move down to Louis’ waste. “Fuck, yes, OK. What...what do you want? Wanna fuck, or...”

“Yeah, let me.” Louis grinds down in Harry's lap, their hard dicks pressing together. Harry gasps.

“Want you inside me.” Harry gasps. “Been thinking of it since that night.” Louis almost can't handle the thought of Harry thinking about their night together. He scoots himself off the couch, and starts pulling on Harry's shirt to get him to follow.

It's weird for just a second as they walk to the back of the house. It's the few seconds to really think about what they are about to do, but Louis finds that he has no desire to take it back. He wants it. Harry dips his head into the crook of Louis’ neck, and pulls him back into his chest. There's no hesitation in his movements, and Louis let's himself be drawn into his touch.

Harry starts to pull on Louis’ clothes with a level of intent, and Louis decides to take matters in his own hands, stripping as efficiently as he knows how. He turns around to Harry doing the same, and it's so incredibly beautiful. “God, you are so beautiful Harry.” The words slip out, and Harry blushes slightly.

“Lou,” Harry whines. “You said that last time. It's weird.” Louis blushes too. It is weird no matter how you slice it.

“Sorry” He says, but pulls away a little, not knowing what to do now.

“No, sorry, it's OK. I was trying to make a joke. It wasn't funny, sorry.” Harry reaches for him again, and it's Harry, his best friend. Louis feels comforted by his touch, moves towards him again.

“It is weird though isn't it?” Louis asks, peppering chaste kisses onto Harry's bare chest.

“Not really, this isn't the first time I've imagined doing this. You're pretty hot. I'm sure you know this.” Louis does laugh at this.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Louis wraps an arm around Harry's waist, and let's it slip low, just tracing the curve of Harry's behind.

“I've seen the selfies Lou. We both know-” Harry's cut off by Louis grasping his ass cheek. It's rough, and might bruise, but Harry likes it, Louis remembers.

“How about after we are done I take a selfie, and see if anyone on instagram knows what I've been up to?” Harry swallows deeply, and just nods.

“I'm thinking the satisfied smirk will given it away.” Harry replies with a smile. Louis releases his ass, and gives it a little slap. “Fuck!” he moans, leaning more into Louis.

“Yes please.” Louis responds. Pulling him onto the bed. Harry doesn't really fall on him as much as he glides between his legs. It puts pressure on his dick and he groans filthily. That just encourages Harry to roll his hips, and pulls the sound from him again.

“Gonna ride you.” Harry tells him, and it just makes Louis moan louder. Suddenly the pressure of Harry is gone, and by the time he opens his eyes, Harry is reaching into the bedside drawer for lube, and a condom. Louis let's himself admire the stretch of his muscles as he moves, and pulls himself back into a sitting position. Louis reaches his hand up to take the lube, but Harry just takes his hand, and places it on his own chest.

He opens the bottle with one hand, and coats the other with a generous amount of lube. Louis wishes that he could say that he's prepared for what happens next, but when Harry leans forward slightly, and reaches backward to finger himself open, Louis just about comes at the sight alone.

Harry closes his eyes, and tilts his head back slightly. The pleasure plainly written on his face. Louis want to touch him everywhere. He runs a hand lightly up his chest, and cups his neck before he slips a finger into Harry's open mouth. Harry immediately closes his lips around it and sucks. Louis bucks up trying to feel anything he can. He's so hard that it's starting to hurt.

“Please H. Need you now. “ Louis pleads. Harry at first appears to ignore him, but he leans back down and grinds down hard on Louis’ pulsing dick. Louis whimpers, he can't stop himself. He feels like he's going to cry with want. He looks up to Harry's face, and Harry is looking right back at him, almost smiling.

“You look good like this Louis.” Harry murmurs. He is almost as affected as Louis, Louis is sure of it, but where Harry can form words, Louis can only moan. “Ready?” Louis moans again, and tries to buck. Harry grabs the condom, and quickly rolls it onto Louis. He wastes no time sinking down all the way to the base of Louis dick.

Now it's Harry's turn to moan. He makes a few short movements finding just the right spot before he start riding him smooth and steadily. The combination of Harry's long legs, and Louis’ slender frame makes it easy for him to glide up and down, but Louis can't help but thrust up to meet Harry. They crash together in a steady rhythm until Harry reaches down to stroke himself, so Louis grabs his hips to still him, so that while Harry continues to stroke his own dick Louis pounds into him. He can feel Harry begin to clench, and he can see the irrational movements. Seeing how close Harry is to reach orgasm pushes Louis over the edge, and he buries deep inside him, arching his back, chasing the last morsel of pleasure. Harry brings a hand down, and plants it on Louis’ chest, he uses the other hand to bring his orgasm. He cries out, and spurts over Louis’ stomach and chest. Louis is helpless between his own orgasm, and Harry holding him in place. He just waits for Harry to come down, and soaks in his own pleasure. Harry finally releases him,and Louis eases out of him, ridding himself of his condom. Harry lies beside him almost heaving. His breaths are deep, but he's smiling.

“Yes,” Harry says to him between panting, “We are doing that again.

“Is that so?” Louis responds with an equal amount of catch in his chest.

“Are you kidding? That was...Jesus...amazing.” Harry somehow finds a surge of energy to cover Louis’ lips with his own for a short moment. “I'd go again right now if I could get it up.”

“Romantic babe, thanks. It was really amazing. It's just, ugh, I'm not exactly a casual sex kind of guy.” He stares at the ceiling to avoid looking at what he is sure is going to be a look of amusement. “It's, ah, been a long time since I've even been in a casual sex situation.” He waits for the laugh, but it doesn't come. He looks over to Harry who is simply nodding.

“Neither am I. I can't exactly go out and find a random man to bring home, and you know how great I am with relationships.” Not great is what Harry means. Louis knows it.

“So what is this then?” Louis asks out right. No sense in being coy. They are laying in bed naked after all. Harry does laugh at that.

“An opportunity.” He says simply. And really Louis doesn't need to be convinced.

“So we are friends with benefits.” Louis replies. He can't keep the little bubble of anticipation from his voice, and it makes Harry chuckle again. “We can barely keep people from believing we are a couple as it is.” He says as an afterthought.

“We'll just have to work a little harder.” Harry slips one of his hands into Louis’ “Worth it though.”

Louis takes a moment to curl his fingers into Harry's. “Yeah.”

 

April 24, 2021

 

“We're on the front page again.” Harry says in lieu of a greeting as he walks through the large glass doors leading into the back garden. They have long since forgone the courtesy of knocking, and somehow ended up exchanging keys and codes. Louis is on a barstool on the deck, shielding himself from the sun, watching Freddie who is on his knees pushing several large yellow Tonka trucks around. He barely lifts his head at Harry's greeting.

“Front page of what?” Louis replies out of courtesy. He doesn't actually care. He stopped caring what tabloids have been saying about him a long time ago. Harry brings his phone up to Louis’ face showing a picture of himself and Harry having dinner. They were leaning in close to one another with large grins on their faces. Harry's hand was on Louis’ wrist that was resting on the table between them. There was a headline. _Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson show once again that they are in fact the dream team._ It's followed by several pictures of each of them having dinner with former girlfriends, having not nearly as much fun as what was going on in the first pic. Louis feels bad for a moment because he wasn't that happy in those old pics. But it wasn't the fault of those girls. He looks up at Harry who is also frowning slightly.

“I'm never going to make another person go through this.” Harry says, gesturing to his phone that is still held up for Louis to see. I wasn't happy, I hurt a lot of people.”

“It's the past now. You've made your peace with them. And soon you can be with someone who makes you truly happy.” Louis smiles, trying to cheer Harry up, and get him out of his dark cloud. Harry puts the phone down, and gets close to Louis’ ear.

“Well, I was pretty happy last night.” He whispers. Louis can feel the flush in his cheeks as he rolls his eyes.

“That's not what I meant, and you know it.” He replies with a good dose of sass.

“Well, good enough isn't it?” Harry sasses right back.

“Oh, I'm “good enough” now am I? See if you will get this “good enough” ever again.” He crosses his arms in mock indignation while Harry is about to wrap around him, completely encompassing Louis in his long arms. Louis is about to let him when a small voice rings into their ears.

“Daddy! I'm hungry! And I have to wee.”

They break apart quickly, controlling their facial expressions to one of joy to see the little boy who is now standing directly in front of them, dancing a little from foot to foot.

“Ready for a snack buddy?” Louis asks as he sweeps the hair off of Freddie’s forehead. Freddie nods with a slight look of discomfort that tells Louis that the toilet break is long overdue. Louis ushers him into the house, but feels a firm grip on his shoulder. He doesn't turn around as he feels Harry's hot breath on the nape of his neck.

“I'm not done with you yet.” Harry rasps into his ear. Louis instantly feels hot all over. He simply nods his head, and keeps walking.

 

 

Louis made sure to flirt, and tease Harry relentlessly for the comment he made within minutes of walking into his house. He finally got Freddie to bed, and tidied the house when Harry practically pushed him towards his bedroom. They made it as far as the end of the bed before Harry stopped him short, and started pulling on both of their trousers.

“You teased me all damned day Louis.” Harry growls into his ear. “ Is this what you want?” The question was both an accusation, and a question. Louis nods, and Harry continues to strip them both down. Louis let him.

“We have to be quiet.” Louis reminds him, trying to not talk about his child in the middle of sex, but also trying to not wake him.

“I can be quiet, but I'm afraid you are going to have a more difficult time.” Louis shivers all over as Harry magics a condom seemingly from thin air.

“What the fuck?” Louis turns to see what else Harry might have back there.

“I've been waiting for hours Lou, I'm more than ready.” He reaches around to cup Louis’ growing erection, essentially cutting off all conversation.

“Yeah, me too. Fuck, yes.”

“Hold on.” Harry instructs as he pushes into Louis. He's tight, and barely prepped, but fuck it feels so good. Harry's practically in a trance running one hand up to Louis’ jaw, tilting him back to give access to the soft skin of his neck. The other hand is securing his chest.

"Jesus," Louis moans, he braces himself with one hand on the bedpost in front of him, and one hand on the arm around his chest. With every thrust it feels like Harry is going to knock him off his feet.

The hand gripping Harry's arm travels up to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling Harry closer. Harry dips forward, and their bodies can't get closer. Louis can feel Harry's breath on his ear, panting in time with his thrusts.

“Come on baby, come on.” is all Harry says, it's quiet, but urgent, and Louis releases the bedpost to grab himself. He fucks into his own hand.

“I'm…” is all Louis has to say before Harry starts pounding into him desperately, and Louis is blasted by his own orgasm. His legs give out, and the only thing holding him up is Harry's strong arms. Harry doesn't seem to mind though as he continues to chase his own orgasm a few moments later. Louis grabs the bed in front of him once again as Harry comes down from his own high.

They both sort of collapse on the mattress in front of them for a moment before Harry suggests they get cleaned up.

“Shower, then bed.” Louis half breaths, half whispers. Harry nods.

“Do you think I should stay?” Harry asks.

“Why wouldn't you?”

“I've never stayed over when Freddie's been here.”

Louis pauses for a moment to realise that it's very true. Louis has never asked him to leave because his son was with him. Harry must have decided that on his own. Would Freddie even notice Harry there? Would it confuse him? “Freddie knows you're my best friend. Best friends sleep over.” Harry wrinkles his nose. Louis doesn't know if it's because he's disgusted by the idea, or endeared. But he agrees either way.

 

June 1, 2021

 

“Friends Mum, we are just friends.” Louis repeats into the phone for what seems like the hundredth time in the last half hour that he's been talking to his mother.

“Are you sure about that love? Freddie tells me he's slept over every night for the last month.” Louis can hear the condescending smile in her voice and he sighs and rubs his hand over his face in frustration. He has so much to do today before the show is set to record, yet here he is apparently defending both his honour, and his relationship status.

“For one, he's five and exaggerates greatly. And for two, he's not at my house every night so he wouldn't know anyway.” The snort from the other end of the line does nothing to ease his nerves.

“Give the child some credit Lou, he sees what's going on.”

“There's nothing going on!” Louis speaks a little louder than he intends. “We’re just friends Mum. I've missed him, and I'm not going to spend less time with him just because of how it looks. OK?” Louis hates speaking to her like this, but of all of the people to hear this from, he doesn't need it from her.

“Babe, I don't care what you do with Harry, as long as you're careful.”

“Gross” Louis deadpans.

“Be careful with his feelings.” Jay continues. “And yours too.” Louis sighs again, sensing that she finally got to the point she wanted.

“We are just friends.” That's probably a hundred and one.

“Oh Lou, you two were never just friends.” Louis straightens his back, and opens his mouth to object, but finds that he can't.

“Mum, there's nothing going on. But for your sanity, and mine, I will be careful. OK?”

“Thanks love. When do you think you'll make it back to England?” She asks, just like she asks whenever he speaks to her.

“As soon as possible.” He says to placate her. “I love you.”

 

June 4, 2021

 

Louis isn't surprised when his phone rings a mere minutes after he is off air for the afternoon. Harry seems to have his schedule memorized better than Louis himself.

“What are you wearing?” comes the deep rasp from the other end of the line.

“What?” Louis asks, genuinely confused. Harry knows where Louis is.

“You heard me. Come, play along.”

“You know, I'm surprised it has taken me this long to realise how truly perverted you are Harry.”

“Come on Lou. You're wearing a suit aren't you? What colour? Do you have your jacket on? Are your sleeves rolled up?”

Louis is trying really hard to not laugh while simultaneously trying really hard to not get hard in his work office. “If you're so curious about what I'm wearing, why don't you come check it out for yourself.” He replies, trying to be cheeky, but sounding more like he's desperate for Harry to do just that. The voice on the other end groans pitifully.

“Did you forget where I am already? Gone for three days and he forgets me already.” Harry whines. Louis can practically see his pout.

“No Hazza. I didn't forget. How is New York?” He asks dutifully. Just like he's asked every day since Harry has left. Because Harry calls at least twice a day no matter what time zone he is in. And if Louis thought too much about it he would probably think it's strange, and codependent, but honestly he doesn't care. He misses Harry when they aren't together.

“New York is _fine_. Meetings are _fine_. Friends are _fine_ …” Harry sighs a little and Louis can't contain the smile that has been spreading wider since he answered his phone.

“Spit it out H. Lay it on me.” By this time Louis is comfortable in his office chair, feet planted on his desk, one hand tucked behind his neck. Harry groans in frustration and a couple of seconds beat by with nothing but silence on the other end of the line.

“I'm so horny” Harry hisses in a mock whisper. Louis snorts involuntarily. “Hey, it isn't funny!”

“If you're horny, just go sort yourself out.”

“Well, thank you genius. Why didn't I think of that?” Harry sasses him.

“Sarcasm doesn't suit you H.” Louis sasses right back.

“Well, I'm sorry, but I've kind of been getting laid regularly lately, and sorting myself out isn't really cutting it.”

“Then go get laid.” Louis replies offhandedly. There is a pause at the other end of the line, and Louis can feel that it was the wrong thing to say.

“I can't…” Harry stumbles over his words. “I don't want to.” Louis weighs the implications of what he thinks that Harry is trying to say.

“You don't want to get off at all in New York?” Louis asks.

“Ugh, I do, but...I want you.” The simple words stir something inside Louis’ gut. Arousal, affection? He doesn't quite know. He does know however that he feels an aching urge to push Harry's buttons. He slips one hand low on his abdomen, not quite in reach of his not yet hard dick.

“Well Harry, if you want me you will have to wait until you get back to LA.” He can hear the teasing tone of his voice. He doesn't much care. “How long until you are back?”

Harry huffs in frustration on the other end of the line. It takes a few moments before he answers. “Ten days.”

“Think you can make it? Think you can go ten days without getting off?”

“What…” Harry's voice is deep and gruff, he clears his throat trying to sound more himself. “What do I get out if it?” Louis laughs because he thinks it's pretty obvious what he gets out of it, but he's a good sport, and more than happy to play along.

“What do you want? Besides the pleasure of me doing naughty, naughty things to you?” The hitch in Harry's breath on the other end of the line is worth the cheesy line.

“I don't know. Fuck, I'm on the spot here.” Harry huffs out. Louis smirks to himself.

“What about the suit you were babbling on about? I can wear that for you. Find a nice tight pair of trousers, white shirt, collar undone...”

“Braces!” Harry practically shouts into Louis’ ear. “If I'm going ten days without even touching myself, I want you in braces when I get home. Honestly, I don't give a fuck what else you have on with them...be creative. Now I have to go take a cold shower.” Louis laughs as he hears the click of the line going dead, partly because Harry actually hung up on him. Partly because he's going home to get himself off all he pleases.

 

June 13, 2021

 

Louis will never in a million years admit how difficult it was waiting for Harry to come back to LA. He will also never admit to spending over an hour in his bedroom trying on different clothes with the brand new pair of black braces he purchased the day after Harry made his special request.

He is about three outfits in when it occurs to Louis that he has no idea what about him turns Harry on, if anything at all. Their relationship is basically pure convenience. They scratch one another's itches, really. It has never occurred to Louis to dress for Harry. The idea that he's doing it now gives him butterflies in his tummy.

He settles on a white button up shirt. It was tailored specially for him, so it's fitted, and moves with his body where he needs it to. The white also clashes wonderfully with the golden hue of his skin. His shirt is tucked into black fitted trousers. A little on the tight side, but still wearable. And just because he's feeling nostalgic, he foregoes the socks, and rolls up the cuff of the trousers to reveal his slender ankle. He takes a look in the mirror, adjusting the placement of the braces, and shrugs his shoulders. What Harry wants, Harry gets.

Of course Freddie notices the new piece of attire almost immediately after he walks out of the bedroom.

“What are those Daddy?” he asks, pointing to Louis’ chest.

“Braces, or suspenders they call them in America.” Freddie seems to contemplate this.

“What do they do?” He decides on asking.

“Well, they make you look nice. They go with dress up nice clothes.” Louis replies in hopes of moving on to another conversation.

“Are you going to work?” Freddie pushes on, head tilted a little in confusion.

“No, I'm going to a restaurant, and I want to look nice.” Louis puts his arm out for Freddie to inspect his attire.

“Like a date?” Freddie wrinkles his nose Louis gives him a similar look.

“What do you know about dates?” Louis pushes him towards the door so that he can get him dropped off at his mother's.

“Mom and Marcus go on dates.” Freddie states as though Louis is the last person on earth to know this information. Which, of course he does know this. Briana has been with Marcus for years now. He just prefers to not imagine what they do when they are together.

Before Louis can respond Freddie blurts out. “Mom says you are dating Harry.”

Louis can't even begin to explain how much work it is taking him to not swear. What the almighty fuck Briana? “I'm not going on a date. I'm going to see a friend.” He grits out between his teeth.

“Who?” Freddie's blue eyes bore into Louis’ like he's trying to suck the information from Louis’ brain.

“What would it take for you to stop asking me questions right now.” Louis says it with a bit of a laugh but they both know he's dead serious.

“If you marry Harry I would have three dads.” Freddie keeps talking like he didn't even hear Louis.

“I'm not marrying Harry.”

“You don't love Harry?”

“Of course I love Harry. He's my best friend.”

“You marry people when you love them.”

“You don't marry everyone you love.”

“Do you not love Harry enough to marry him?”

The last question comes as they pull into Briana driveway. Louis throws a silent thank you prayer as he unbuckles Freddie from his seat.

Briana is waiting for them at the front door. When Freddie is out of earshot Louis whispers “I just promised Freddie a cookie, and you are giving it to him for telling him me and Harry are a couple.”

Briana smiles and rolls her eyes. “Like you're not.”

“We are not. And I didn't appreciate the fifteen minutes grilling from my 5 year old about it.” Louis huffs.

“Tell me Lou. Who are you going to dinner with tonight?” Briana raises a brow at him, openly inspecting his attire, turning Louis’ face red with both frustration,and embarrassment.

“I'm leaving.” He states as he walks back to his car.

“Have and good night! I'm happy for you!” She calls from the door. Louis flips her off, only making her laugh harder.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

Louis instantly feels under dressed as soon as Harry comes into sight in the restaurant. Although he's not sure what he could possibly wear to make him feel any different. He's dressed in a simple crisp white button up, that's less than half buttoned, and blue jeans that Louis wonders how he actually got into. The only accessories are a simple black belt, with a silver buckle, and a set of Aviators are perched on his face. Louis can't see Harry's eyes, but he is making his way closer to the table.

Louis stands to greet him as Harry pulls the glasses off his face, and tucks them into his front pocket.

“Jesus Lou. You're an absolute asshole for making me sit through dinner while you look like...this.” He runs his fingers through his hair as he eyes Louis up and down. Louis just laughs, and gives Harry a quick hug before sitting again. “Seriously though. This is just torture. We could be in bed right now.” Harry sits in the seat closest to Louis, and immediately places and hand high on Louis’ thigh. Louis swallows, and tries to keep his face neutral.

“Honestly Harry, you should know better. I make it my personal mission to make your life uncomfortable.” Harry snorts, rolls his eyes, but doesn't.

“I'm going to make you pay for this.” He replies. His hand moves up even farther and gives a firm squeeze. Louis almost chokes on his own tongue.

“May I remind you that we are in public?” Louis faintly whispers. He is quickly regretting a lot of decisions.

“I don't even care. All I can think about is bending you over this table.” Harry leans back, releasing the grip on Louis’ leg and the loss of contact is almost too much to bear. Louis can't stop the flush that is creeping up Louis’ face, nor can he stop his dick from thickening in his trousers.

“Fuck, OK. Let's get out of here.” Louis manages to grit out. They both stand, and as Louis turns to grab his jacket from the back of his chair Harry grabs him roughly around the waist. Before Louis can react he can feel Harry's lips brushing his neck.

“You really do look gorgeous though. Thank you for dressing for me.” The sudden tone of affection melts into Louis’ entire body, and he can't help but lean into Harry's embrace. It's warm, and comforting, and it hits Louis just how much he's missed Harry over the last two weeks.

They make their way out of the restaurant without incident, and share Louis’ car back to his place. There isn't much in the way of conversation, but the tension is palpable. It takes all of Louis’ power to pay attention to the road, and not Harry fidgeting beside him.

Louis barely gets the door closed, and his security code punched in before Harry is pushing him against the wall, hands seemingly everywhere at once.

“Not so mouthy now huh?” Harry teases as Louis can do nothing but pant against Harry's neck. “Want so much Lou, can't even think where to start.”

Louis has no problem imagining where this night could go. He's thought of nothing else since they left the restaurant. “Were you serious when you said you wanted to bend me over the table?” Louis looks up to Harry's dark stare.

“Fuck, yes.” Harry begins pulling him to the kitchen by his braces. Louis tries to not stumble over his own feet. When the get to the small but sturdy breakfast table Harry pulls Louis in for another searing kiss. “I'm sad to say that these have to go.” He gives the braces another pull, letting them snap back into Louis’ chest. Louis gives a small gasp, but it's not entirely from pain. “Like that?” Harry asks? Louis can only nod. Harry pulls the braces down low, and reaches for his own belt, eyes intent on Louis’ body. “turn around.” He orders, Louis does immediately, and feels Harry's hand flatten on his back, pushing him down flush with the table. Harry pulls Louis’ trousers down just enough to expose his ass, his shirt gets pushed up just enough to expose his lower back. “Fuck, so sexy Lou. I feel like I've waited so long for this.” Harry palms Louis’ ass and gives it a light tap, but it still makes Louis groan in want. “Are you ready for me Lou?” Harry asks. Louis nods, but Harry makes no move to do anything.

“Harry, please.” Louis begs. And Harry moans at the words.

“I need to get some stuff…” Harry sounds almost sad that he has to break from his contact with Louis’ skin.

“No, don't need anything. Just need you.” Louis babbles. He pushes into the hand that still on his bare skin, trying to get more contact with the man standing behind him.

“Are you sure?” Harry asks although his voice sounds like he's fully I'm board with the idea.

“Yes, please just fuck me.” Louis pleads.

Harry doesn't ask again. Louis can hear him spitting and licking into his hand, and all of a sudden there's a large intrusion into his hole. Yes, it burns, but he wants it. He wants to feel every inch of Harry moving inside him. Harry puts a hand on his shoulder encouraging Louis to move back onto Harry's erection. Louis gladly lets Harry guide him as he starts pumping in and out of him almost immediately.

It's dirty, and raw, but oh so sexy. Louis focuses on the ragged breaths that are coming faster, and faster from Harry's mouth. His own mouth makes little moans, and gasps that he doesn't have any control of making.

Suddenly Harry shifts movements, and hits Louis’ prostate. It's suddenly too much for Louis. He reaches down to grab himself, and get some relief. He doesn't expect the hand that grips his arm, and pulls it away from his body.

“No touching. Come like this.” Harry commands. Louis whimpers, but agrees. He can feel the orgasm building anyway, and says so to Harry.

“Gonna come soon Harry. Can't hold it.” His voice is strained. It seems to encourage Harry to move faster, harder.

“That's OK babe. Come for me.” Harry has Louis by the biceps, thrusting in and out. Louis is fairly helpless, but the overwhelming pleasure overcomes him, and he begins to come between himself and the table. Harry, who has been holding off until Louis was ready for release, let's himself go, and gives one last thrust into Louis, filling him. Louis has never felt anything like it.  The sensation fills him with want, want to feel it again and again.

When Harry finally releases him it takes few moments for Louis to straighten himself up. He immediately turns to melt into Harry's arm, and kisses Harry deeply. “That was incredible.” Louis whispers into his mouth.

“Not too much?” Harry asks. There is a little concern in his eyes, but it is quickly dispelled by Louis smiling, and shaking his head.

“No, I liked it. Loved it. But I need to go lie down for a moment or two.” He jokes. Harry nods in agreement.

“I might join you, if you don't mind.” Harry replies. Louis just nods as they make their way back to the bedroom.

 

After a nap, a glass of wine, and a mash up of food that was in the refrigerator, Harry and Louis called it a night, cuddling and whispering “missed you” in each other's ears. They are both still awake, mostly listening to one another breath, maybe mumbling an occasional sentence when the peace of the evening is broken by two mobiles beginning to blare simultaneously. With looks of concern mirroring their faces, they both answer. What comes to them was a stream of people screaming at them to open the TMZ website. When they do,what they see is themselves. They were both there, in the restaurant.

 

**_Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson show off their rekindled relationship sending the signal that they are definitely off the market. See pictures below._ **

 

And there are definitely pictures. Harry hugging Louis on their greeting. Harry with his hand on Louis’ thigh. Harry draped over Louis’ back while Louis leans into him. And finally Harry's kiss on Louis’ neck. Louis looking happy, and if it were a stranger's face looking back at him, he might also guess in love. The feeling punches him square in the chest.

“How did this happen?” He hears Harry through his fog of shock. He looks over to realise that Harry is still on the phone. He doesn't look mad, probably just as shocked as Louis is at the moment.

Harry mumbles a few more words, and puts the mobile down on the bed in front of him. “So, TMZ got the pictures seemingly as soon as they were taken. They said that given the public location, and the way we were ‘behaving’” He throws his hands up to make quotation signs. “It didn't occur to them that we were trying to be private, and they just thought they were covering a new romance story. They won't take it down. They won't retract.” His last sentence comes with a slump of his shoulders. Louis wraps his arms around Harry, and lays his head on his shoulders.

“Don't beat yourself up Harry. I'm sorry. Your plans for coming out are fucked now.” Harry's head, that had been resting on Louis’ lifts to look at him.

“I'm still coming out.” His voice is more of a question, and his gaze puzzled. Louis must have a similar look.

“But if you come out now, everyone will be looking at me. Everyone is going to think…” His head starts to spin a little, panic creeping up from the base of his gut into his chest.

“But you are Lou. “ Harry replies gently. “You are, and I am, and they all believe it anyway.” He slips a warm hand into Louis’ trembling one. “Would it be so bad if they knew that? We could do it together.”

Louis knows that Harry is trying to comfort him, but Louis is all warning bells, alarms, and voices screaming ‘NO NO NO!!!!’ in his head. He retracts from Harry's grip, and pushes himself as far away as he can. “No. I don't want this. I can't come out because some Fucking pap caught me in some random hookup!”

As soon as the words are out Louis stops, horrified by the look on Harry's face. All that is there is pure hurt. Louis feels like he's frozen as he watches Harry calmly get out of bed, grab his clothes, and walk out the door of the bedroom. By the time Louis' feet start working enough to go after him, Harry has reached the front door. He reaches his hand out to touch Harry's shoulder, but Harry just shrugs it off.

“Don't.” Harry almost whispers. Louis tentatively lowers his hand again.

“Harry, I didn't mean-”

“Please, just don't.” Harry turns back to look at Louis. His face is pleading. Louis catches the glistening of tears formed in the corner of his eye. It feels like someone stabbing him in the chest to see that Harry is crying, and knowing that he is the cause. Only him.

He reaches out to try to touch him again, but Harry turns away again, firmly closing the door behind him. Louis is left in the dark, staring at his own door wishing he could run away too.

 

June 14, 2021

 

Louis is good at a lot of things. He's talented, he is kind, generous, smart. But one thing that Louis is really truly terrible at is apologizing. It's never been something he's been able to master, and most attempts at sincerely attempting to right a wrong is usually littered with hurt feelings and misdirected angst. So Louis can just a little understand why any attempt to reach out to Harry is being shut down. But at the same time, Harry knows how difficult this is for Louis and should cut him some slack. The least he could do is answer his phone, reply to a text at least.

It's been twenty four hours since Harry walked out on Louis, and Louis is laying in bed trying to sleep, but failing miserably. His phone pretty much hasn't left his hand since he got home from work hours ago, but he just can't bring himself to send another call or text just be to rejected again.

After what's seemed like hours of phone calls, meetings, and so many moments of second guessing himself, he finally feels comfortable again. His team has set up a few great articles for denials that hopefully won't hurt Harry. And now he just has to speak to Harry himself, explain, and try to get him to understand. Maybe try to make Harry explain some things to him as well.

He closes his eyes with the device still in his hand, resting on his chest. He wills himself to sleep, or rest at the very least. That effort is dashed when the blaring of his ring tone breaks the silence of the room. He jumps, and his thoughts go immediately to Harry. But when he looks at the screen it's not Harry's name that pops up, but Sharon.

“Hey, what's going on?” He says in greeting. His voice sounds like he's been sleeping for hours, but mostly from his mouth going dry from the thought of Harry contacting him.

“I'm sorry Lou, I just had word of this. If I knew earlier I would have contacted you as soon as possible. I just want you to know that anything that you want to do, I'm behind you. We can fight this, we can try at least...” She rambles on for a few more moments while Louis’ overactive imagination runs through all of the horrible things that could have happened in the middle of a Monday night. He finally just cuts her off.

“Sharon love, calm down. You didn't even tell me what happened.” He thinks he sounded pretty calm even though he's panicking on the inside.

“I'm sending you the link. Read it, please. Then call me back, and I will start working immediately. Whatever time, I don't care. Just tell me what you need alright?”

“OK, just send me whatever you need to send me, and we'll figure it out.” the line goes dead almost immediately, and Louis only has to wait a few seconds before his e mail pings.

He clicks eagerly, his stomach tightening more every second. It's an article, PEOPLE.COM printed in the subject line. The headline tells Louis everything he needs to know.

 

 

 

**Exclusive Interview With Harry Styles**

  ** _“I Am Gay”_**

 

 

There is a fairly recent picture of Harry, that he obviously sat for, probably for the article itself. But there is also a candid photo. The picture of the two of them in the restaurant. The one that started this ball rolling. Louis sits in his bed, trying to read what the article says, trying to read Harry's words. But his mind is screaming with the realisation that his best friend just outed him to the world, just like that. With a lump in his throat the first thing he does is call Sharon back.

“Listen, just cancel what we had planned today, and then get some sleep yeah?” His voice sounds shaky, but he doesn't even care anymore. “There's not much to do now is there?"

"I guess not.” She replies although her tone sounds disbelieving. “Would you like an exclusive? There will be people ringing off the hook.” No, he doesn't want an exclusive. He wants to crawl in a hole, and never come out again. But he knows that is not an option. His ratings are rising, and he has to be in front of a live audience in mere hours.

“Yeah, OK. You choose someone Sharon. I trust your judgement. And as soon as possible please? No sense in dragging this thing out. But start tomorrow. Get some sleep. We are both going to need it I'm afraid.” Louis sighs because he knows that he won't be getting a blink of sleep. “Sleep well Lou, I'll contact you first thing.” The line goes dead, and Louis throws the phone to the end of the bed. If he isn't sleeping, neither is Harry.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

It takes less than 30 minutes to pull up to Harry's gated home. He has the codes, and he has the key, but he doesn't feel that he has a right, or desire to use them. Instead he gets out of his car, and starts ringing the gate relentlessly. He takes a small amount of pleasure when through static a grumpy Harry barks out.

“What the hell Louis?” He sounds like he's been sleeping. He sounds pissed off. _Good_ , Louis thinks.

“Oh, I'm sorry. Was I keeping you from a peaceful slumber? Don't mind me. I was just awoken by my pr rep because my FORMERLY best friend outed me on the Fucking COVER of People Fucking Magazine!!!!”

“I did no such thing, and how _Fucking_ dare you! You know I would never. And also how dare you show up at my house after what you said to me yesterday. If you didn't notice, me not answering your calls means that I did not want to speak with you.”

Louis actually had forgotten that Harry was angry. But that was yesterday, and it's his turn to be hurt, and he doesn't play with the silent treatment. He wants people to know when he's pissed off. “Oh, boo hoo. I said you were a hook up. What the fuck else would you call it H? You said it was an opportunity. You said it didn't mean anything. I was fine with the way things were, and you FUCKED EVERYTHING UP!” His heart is racing, standing out all alone behind a locked gate. He wants to fight, but he wants to be comforted as well. And he wants both of those things to involve Harry.

“Can you please stop yelling? I do have neighbors” His tone is cold, and Louis loses the small hope he had at the comfort.

“Well, you can let me in, and we can finish this.” Louis said, a touch quieter, and a touch hopeful. He hopes that Harry didn't notice the latter.

“I have nothing to say to you Louis. Go home.”

“Do you not even care?” Louis pleads. He leans his body towards the speaker, almost trying to get closer to Harry's voice. “This is my life. I didn't want this.”

“I didn't do anything to you Louis. I came out. That was me. It has nothing to do with you. And that's because you chose for it to have nothing to do with you.” Louis can hear him sigh, like he's tired. “Go home. This is over.” And then he’s gone.

Louis stares at the intercom for a while. He considers pressing the buzzer once more, but he doesn't have it in him. He gets back in his car, and heads towards home, asking himself if it was all worth it.

 

June 15, 2021

 

Louis was right in his assumption that he would get no sleep. He sits on his back deck watching the sunrise, thinking about a few of the things that will be different. It's been a long time since he's craved a cigarette as bad as he does right now. He can't even fathom how he's going to put on an entire show, knowing what everyone in the audience is going to know. He glances at his almost dead mobile, and sees that it's just past 7am. He decides to grab a quick shower, and pick up Freddie for school. It's his last week, and they are both looking forward to some extra time together.

 

 

When Louis rings the doorbell to Briana's house she looks surprised to see him, but invites him in happily. He shucks his shoes by the door, and perches on the nearest kitchen stool.

“You're up and around early enough.” She greets him. She is putting dishes in the dishwasher, and pulling a small lunch bag from the refrigerator. While she moves out if Louis’ line of sight he calls out to her.

“Um, listen Briana. Harry has an article coming out today. He's coming out publicly.”

“Oh, that's so great for him!” She exclaims brightly as she comes back into the kitchen, backpack in hand.

“Yeah, well. I haven't read the entire article, but they put a picture on the cover.” He swallows with difficulty. The pain of what Harry has done to him is still fresh in his mind. “It's a picture of me and him. It's basically forced me to come out.”

Briana looks likes she's frozen in the spot. He can tell on her face that she isn't going to says what he wants to hear. She pretty good at that. “So, is this such a bad thing Lou?” Louis throws his hands in the air in frustration.

“Yes. I'm feeling really crappy right now. I haven't slept all night. Harry and I had a huge fight. Nothing is good about this. But I wanted to warn you. I am going to do an interview. And announce it on the show. The media might be crazy for a while.”

“Why did you and Harry fight?” Briana asks point blank. Like none of the parts where he's upset matters.

“Because I said something shitty to him, and to retaliate, he outed me.” Louis says bluntly. It's a very obtuse form of the truth, Louis knows, but Briana can at least try to be on his side.

“Listen, I don't know much about Harry Styles, but that just doesn't sound like something he would do. Does it?” She asks.

“I don't know what to tell you. It's what happened. It hurts. And I kind of don't want to talk about it anymore.” Louis knows he's pouting, but he's so tired. He wants to see his son, and then maybe drown in a bottle of tequila.

“Ok, whatever you say. But don't forget that you promised Freddie that he could go to that movie premiere. He's been talking about nothing else.” Briana gives Louis a pointed look until he nods. He forgot about the stupid thing, and it's coming up in a few weeks. He's saved from having to think about it much more when Freddie walks into the kitchen, dressed and ready to rule the world. He screams, and attaches himself to Louis’ leg when he sees him.

They chat all the way to school, and Louis tries really hard to sound excited when the premiere does come up. But when he drops Freddie off at the front door of his school, Louis slumps in his car, and makes a phone call that he hasn't made in quite a while.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

“I didn't know what you're into anymore, so I brought a selection.” Zayn sets several bottles of liquor on the table. There is also food, a deck of cards, and what suspiciously looks like a bag of weed. That's the great thing about Zayn. He gets it.

All Louis said to him was _Fucking Harry Styles_ , and _can you stay with me?_ And there he is, with all of the comforts of his little world. Louis plops down on the couch, and stares dazed at the blank television screen. It's way too early to start drinking, but he knows that his mind isn't going to let him sleep.

“So what's the plan bro?” Zayn asks as he sinks into the seat beside him.

“Got a show today.” Louis replies.

“Brutal.”

“Yeah” Louis rubs his hands over his face, feeling stubble. He can only imagine what he looks like. He barely spared a glance in the rear view mirror when he walked Freddie into his school.

“Um, not to be a pest, but your phones been going crazy.” Zayn jabs a thumb in the direction of the kitchen where Louis plugged his mobile before he left to get Freddie.

“Fuck!” he shouts remembering that Sharon was supposed to call first thing this morning. It's after nine. She's probably headed towards the house now. Louis jumps up as the phone begins vibrating on the counter once again. He was right in his assumption. “Oh my God, I'm sorry Sharon.”

“It's OK. It's alright.” Sharon replies, although her voice sounds very much not alright. In fact it kind of sounds like she was cursing Louis to no end directly before he picked up her call. But he doesn't say that. “So there was no shortage of publications that wanted to interview you. But given that you let me decide, I went with Rolling Stone. They gave me every stipulation, and they were willing to meet you today, as soon as you give the where and when.” Sharon sounds incredibly proud of herself. Which she should be. Louis couldn't have chosen a better woman for the job.

“Thank you so much, you're aces. Um, I'm going to be in the office working until probably six. Could you possibly direct them to my house at seven?” He asks, but he knows that Sharon will make it happen. And as he suspected he she gives a quick affirmative before she even lets him go. He thanks her, and promptly goes to the nearest toilet to throw up.

 

~•○●●○•~

 

Zayn goes above and beyond the call of friendship, and accompanies Louis to the studio. He takes some pictures, chats to the audience, Louis even works him into the show for a moment. Everyone loves seeing the two of them together, and getting along. It hasn't been that long since they reconciled their friendship, and their old fans were so happy to see it. Zayn also drags a reluctant Louis out of the studio by 6pm so he can go home to shower, and regroup. He will never be able to thank Zayn properly for being with him, by his side.

The interviewer shows up at 7pm promptly. His name is Jack, but that is basically all the information that Louis manages to absorb. They are sat in Louis’ nice living room. The one that he never uses. He takes a moment to mock himself for having a living room he never uses while Jack brings in a photographer. The photographer asks to have him and Zayn sit together, but Zayn declines, and leaves Louis to sit alone on his couch. He knows how to take a decent picture, no matter what the mood. So it goes quickly. Zayn sits beside him again in time for Jack to settle in with a tape recorder, and a laptop.

“So, anything off the table?” He gets right to it.

“As long as it's truthful, I'm an open book.” Louis replies. He can see Jacks eyes light up. He really doesn't have anything to hide at this point.

“And how do you feel about me mentioning Zayn being here?” He directs the question to Louis, but Zayn is the one who speaks up.

“I'm fine with it. I'm here to support Louis. Nothing wrong with that is there?” Jack shakes his head, and they charge on.

**Louis Tomlinson in a Special Exclusive Wants to Set the Record Straight**

When Rolling Stone is contacted by the Team of Former Superstar, and late night talk show host Louis Tomlinson, it's no surprise that we jumped on the chance to hear what the man wanted to say about the fresh rumours that have been swirling around him. It's been well documented that Louis Tomlinson, and former band mate Harry Styles has resumed their close friendship over the last few months, but a recent set of pictures of the two men paint a different picture, and on the heels of Harry Styles officially coming out in a People Magazine exclusive, every head turns towards Louis. But sitting in his spacious LA mansion is not Harry Styles, but friend and also former band mate Zayn Malik. They sit close, Zayn's arm draped protectively around Louis’ shoulders. One wonders where the other man behind these rumours is right now.

RS: Well, you called us

LT: I guess I did. But you ask the questions please. (Louis fidgets in his seat)

RS: Well the question of the hour is, are you and Harry Styles in a relationship?

LT: No, we are not.

RS: And those pictures from TMZ? Were they fabricated in some way?

LT: No, they were real, and it was definitely us, but sometimes friends do things in public that maybe they shouldn't do. _At this point Zayn coughs, and Louis gives him a look that could be deciphered as annoyance._

RS: Harry come out as gay very shortly after those pictures were taken. And also used the picture of the two of you on the cover.

LT: Yes, I saw that.

RS: Would it be safe to say that people aren't completely off base to assume that you two were having a secret love affair? _Louis takes a moment to contemplate. He whispers into his companion’s ear, and gets a nod from the other man._

LT: Of course that is what it looks like, but that's not what it is. I am not in a relationship with Harry. And him coming out as gay was something that he has wanted for a long time. I somehow got dragged into his plans. But here I am, and I thought it was only fair to be able to tell my side of the story.

RS: So, what is your side of the story? Are you saying that the rumours are all false?

LT: Well, not all of them. I am actually gay. This is not how I wanted to come out. And I apologize for the lies, and secrets. But this is such a personal thing. I just hope that everyone who I may have hurt from this will someday be able to understand, and forgive me. _He pauses again, and rubs a hand over the back of his neck, while Zayn gives him a bump with his knee._

LT: And Harry too. He's going through a lot right now, and he needs all the love he can get.

RS: And what about this guy. Why is he here?

LT: Zayn? He was here when I needed someone the most.

RS: Well, thank you Louis, and you too Zayn. Any last words?

LT: Just to be kind. Please.

 

After Jack leaves, Zayn mixes Louis a really strong drink. Against his better judgement, Louis takes it down in one gulp. He hears Zayn laugh behind him.

“Easy bro. You're kind of a lightweight.”

“Well, by tomorrow everyone in the world will know that I am gay. Not to mention that I've been lying to them for the last ten years.” The drink threatens to work it's way back up for a moment. He swallows hard, and takes a sip from the fresh cup that Zayn hands him.

“Well, I think it's about damn time. Fuck anyone who has any other opinion.” Zayn reaches for a smoke. Louis gives him a tap on the back of the head.

“Take it outside.”

“Come with me. I'll give you something else to help you relax.” He pulls a joint from his pack, and Louis nods reluctantly. “Good, then maybe you'll tell me what really happened with Harry.

 

June 16, 2021

 

Louis wakes up to a raging headache, and a dry mouth. He reluctantly cracks one eye to see that he is at least in his own bed. He's also alone, and it takes a moment to realise why that feels wrong. It's not because he knows Zayn spent the night. He untangles himself from his quilts, and makes it to the toilet in time to vomit. He doesn't remember ever being in this much pain. As he's sitting on the cold tile floor, propped up against the bath, he realises that he has to live his life with the whole world knowing that he's a gay man.

It hits him at this moment how alone he is. How the only person in the whole world who could truly understand what he's going through won't even take his calls. He hurts, and he's tired, and he's sad. And sitting alone in the bathroom, with the taste of his own vomit still lingering in his mouth, Louis is sure that he's reached a new low. The tears rolling down his face seem appropriate, but not at all comforting. He doesn't answer the soft knock on the door frame. But he does wipe his eyes, and tries to quiet the sniffles. Zayn sits down beside him, and wraps him in a side hug. Louis breaks down and sobs against his chest.

“Oh Lou, come on. It's not all that bad.” Zayn hushes, and coos nonsense into his hair until Louis regains his composure once more.

“I just feel, I don't know, violated. This was the only thing I had left. I know that it wasn't healthy, but it was mine. One thing that people couldn't judge. And now I'm split open.” He sighs, and cups his hands in his face. “And now I've got to go out into the world, and pretend that I'm happy? I'm OK? Because I'm not.”

“ Are you not happy with being outed, or are you not happy with being gay?” Zayn asks, looking intently into Louis’ eyes. It takes Louis a moment to answer. He's not sure either one is right, maybe both. He finally settles on an answer that would satisfy Zayn's curiosity.

“I feel like I've lost a part of myself. ” He looks towards Zayn, who has an understanding expression on his face. He gives Louis a final squeeze before he stands back up.

“Get in the shower. We'll get some breakfast.”

 

 

The day goes on, the article is released online. He gets messages of support, and a standing ovation when he walks onto the set of his show. Zayn stays by his side as much as he possibly can, and he gets calls from his family with nothing but love and support. Briana even texts him a picture that Freddie has made for him. It has a big heart in the center. Green for Freddie's favourite colour. Louis couldn't ask for a better response. He can feel love coming from every direction. But there's a big gaping space. It's dark, and silent, and as much as Louis tries, he can't ignore it.

He doesn't hear from Harry all day. He refuses to try to contact him again. It's late, but he can't sleep. Him and Zayn are set up in the media room with snacks and all of their favourite films. Louis wholeheartedly refused another night of drinking, but Zayn is sipping a beer. About a quarter of the way through The Winter Soldier Louis is zoned in, and blissfully thinking about nothing but what's going on in front of him. That is until he hears a loud bang on the door. Him and Zayn both jump, and spill a variety of expletives from their mouths.

“What the fuck?” Louis asks himself. He heads towards the door when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“What if it's a stalker or someshit?” Zayn whispers in his ear. The door bangs again, and they jump into each other's arms. They make their way to the security camera screens in the kitchen when Louis’ heart drops. Harry is standing at his doorstep. His shoulders are hunched, and he is curled in on himself as though he is trying to keep himself together. Louis rushes to the door to open it. He's prepared to comfort him, apologise to him, even accept his apology. In the seconds it takes for Louis to get from the kitchen to standing in front of Harry in person Louis pictures that everything will be alright. But when they come face to face the only thing he sees is anger.

“What is it Harry?” Harry spares a glance behind Louis. Louis does the same, and sees Zayn standing there in nothing but a pair of boxers and a ragged tank. His expression mirrors the confusion that Louis is feeling.

“So it's true then?” He directs his question to Louis.

“Is what true?” Harry pulls his phone from his pockets and scrolls for a second.

“They sit close, Zayn's arm draped protectively around Louis’ shoulders. “ he reads from the Rolling Stone article. He scrolls again. “He whispers into his companion’s ear” more scrolling “Zayn gives him a bump with his knee.”

“Ok, what about it?” Louis asks. He's not stupid. He knows exactly what Harry is thinking. There has always been a weird dynamic between Harry and Zayn. Louis has never been able to put his finger on it. It's gone between everything from attraction, to jealousy to sometimes downright disgust.

“You know, I didn't try to hurt you. I didn't mean to drag you into my own coming out. And I thought that you would know me enough, care about me enough to get that. Maybe even give me the benefit of the doubt. But instead, you go out and fuck the first man who will look sideways at you?” Harry's chest is heaving. But all Louis can see is red.

“Excuse me? The only reason that Zayn is here right now is because I was thrown under your big gay bus! I was scared, and hurting, and alone. I needed someone. I needed you, but you were busy ruining my life! But Zayn was there, and he's here now, and if you don't notice, he's the only one here not yelling at me! So you can kindly fuck off in the direction from which you came.” Harry is silent, but Louis can see the hurt in his eyes. Louis just stares him down, willing him to walk away before more feelings got hurt. Harry doesn't leave.

“I wanted to be here. I wanted to be by your side. We could have done this together.” He pleads. His voice quieter, and rough.

“But I didn't want this at all, and that seems to be the part that you don't understand. You did this to me." He pokes a finger into Harry's chest, making Harry flinch. "You can't be the person who holds me up, while being the person who's pushing me down.” The words are cold, but he means every one of them.  He couldn't take it back if he tried.

“I guess that's it then? I have nothing else to say.” Harry replies. He sounds as tired as Louis feels. “Goodbye Louis.”

Louis watches him walk to his car. He doesn't look back as he pulls out of the drive. Louis turns back towards Zayn who is still standing with a confused expression. Louis just shrugs his shoulders in defeat.

“Maybe I should go.” Zayn finally says.

“I wish you wouldn't.” Louis replies. Zayn simply nods, and turns back towards the media room. Louis follows silently, ignoring the tear that slips down his cheek.

 

June 24, 2021

 

Louis tosses his phone on the kitchen counter and screams. There's no one there to hear him, so he throws a few cusses in as well. He also may or may not kick the trash can. He'll never admit it. He gives the time a quick check before he picks the phone back up and flips through his contacts.

“‘lo” he gets as a greeting. He's sure that Zayn is sick of him by now. It's been a week since Harry showed up on his door step, and while Louis hasn't begged Zayn to move in, he does call him at least three times a day. Sadly they are almost all Harry related calls.

“Briana just called me...again. She will not let this movie premiere shit go. I'm at my wits end. What a Fucking nightmare.” He can't help but notice that he sounds like a gossiping teenager.

“Lou, babe, you know I love you, but this mess has got to stop.” Louis can hear him take a long drag from his smoke. “Just call Harry. Tell him how you feel, and then we can all move on with our lives.”

“I'm sure that I have no idea what you're talking about.” Louis huffs.

“Please. You love him Lou. You've loved him for a long time. Why you two have never done anything about it until now baffles me. Just tell him you love him, get married, and have his babies. It's all very simple.”

“Were you not there for the time, not so long ago, that he accused me of sleeping with you? Oh yeah, outed me in People Fucking Magazine???”

“Come on. That was nothing. I've seen you two have worse fights over drinking the last red Bull on the tour bus. And you know as well as I do that he didn't out you. It was the magazine. He had nothing to do with it. And he would have apologised to you if he wasn't busy being butt hurt by how you treated him. Sounds familiar actually.”

“Do you have a point in all of this dick head?” Louis jabs. Apparently Zayn _has_ had enough of him.

“CALL HIM!” Zayn yells into the phone. “At least be civil. You know he wouldn't let Freddie down.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right about that at least.” Louis mumbles.

“I am right. And don't call me back until you get it worked out.”

“Oh, thanks friend.” Louis replies sarcastically. “Remind me to call Niall next time I need a best friend.”

“Louis, Harry is your best friend. Hell, if we are going there, he's your soulmate bro. I just wish you would both see what we see.” Louis is terrified by the sheer amount that he wants that to be true. He knows that he feels more for Harry than friendship, but the idea of loving him, being in love with him, is overwhelming.

“I'm scared.” He says into the phone.

“I know. But one call at a time right?” Zayn replies softly.

“Yeah, alright. Talk later?”

“By Lou. Good luck.” The line goes dead.

Louis is left staring at his contact screen again. Everything in his body is telling him to not call Harry. He assumes it's going to be bad. He's expecting to get hurt. He doesn't want to hurt anymore. But he has to do this. He scrolls through again, and clicks on Harry's name. It now has a picture. A selfie they took on a sunny day by the beach. His heart skips for a moment before he presses the call button. Every ring is like a knot pulling tighter. He's so convinced that Harry won't answer that when he hears the timid “Hello?” it takes him a moment to register that it's Harry's voice.

“Oh, hi. Hello.” Louis responds. “Um, yeah. I'm sorry for calling. I'm sure that I'm the last person you want to hear from right now.” Silence “So, yeah. Briana has been calling me basically three times a day because Freddie is really excited for this movie premiere. And I told her that I would call.” He pauses to gauge a reaction.

“Ummm, alright.” Harry replies.

“I know that I have no right to ask this of you Harry, but I can't let Freddie down without at least trying to work something out. He's really looking forward to this. I had to try.”

“Louis, I wouldn't punish Freddie because we had an argument. Of course he is more than welcome to the premiere. I can't wait to see him actually. I miss him.” _Right_ , Louis thinks. _Freddie is welcome, he misses Freddie._

“See, I told you he was cool.” Louis attempts to joke. He gets a tiny chuckle on the other end of the line. “So, what about his dad. Is he welcome to the big premiere to cheer on his favourite movie star?

“Please don't do that Lou. I'm not ready for jokes like that.” And then knots in his stomach are back.

“I'm sorry H. I'm still not really happy either, but I know that you are not to blame for that. I guess I should have started with that. Let me start over. I'm sorry Harry.” He can hear Harry sigh on the other end. It takes a moment for him to get a reply.

“I'm sorry too. I can't imagine how you felt when you saw that article. That wasn't my intention.” There's another heavy sigh before he continues. “And it's none of my business who you...spend time with. That wasn't fair to you, or Zayn.” The apology is sincere, but forced. It makes Louis want to shake him.

“Well, it is and it isn't. We never agreed to be exclusive, but we are best friends. I would tell you if I was sleeping with someone. And it will never be Zayn.”

“But, he was there for you. He was your companion.” Harry says the word like it is leaving a bad taste in his mouth.”

“I needed someone who got it. Someone who knew me, and who knew us. Zayn wasn't going to ask questions when I cried and yelled, and cursed your existence. I know he isn't your favourite person sometimes, well, a lot of the time, but he was there when I needed him.” More silence meets him. He can hear Harry breathing on the other end. After a few more seconds he gets nervous. “H, you still with me?” He hears a broken sigh, and a small cough.

“I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.” Harry almost whispers.

“It's alright.” Louis responds quietly. “It's over now. Everyone survived.”

“Yeah. I guess we did.”

“So, can you tolerate me for one night?”

“Of course I can. But just for one night.” Louis knows Harry is making a joke. And it makes his heart sing. They are going to be OK.

 

July 9, 2021

 

The day of the premiere is nothing but crazy. Freddie is off his rocker with excitement. Louis can't even distract him with his favourite toys, movies, or food. He's cried four times already. Louis wants to cry too because his child is driving him crazy. The worst part of it all is the constant questions of “Where's Harry? Why isn't Harry here? Why isn't Harry coming with us? “I miss Harry.” None of Louis’ explanations satisfy him. He sends up a silent prayer of thanks when the limo finally arrives to take them to the theatre.

“Now Freddie, remember what I said. No talking to strangers, and do not leave my side please. There are going to be a lot of people yelling, and taking your picture. It's going to be a little scary”

“I know Dad, you told me only a million times.” Freddie does a little eye roll. Louis would discipline him if he didn't already know it would turn into yet another crying spell. “Are we meeting Harry there?” he asks once again. Louis resists rolling his eyes himself, but he answers a dutiful “yes” just like he did every other of the many times he's been asked in the last twelve hours.

They finally pull into a queue of cars and limos. Freddie is literally jumping in his seat. Louis can't help but smile at his enthusiasm. They are about three cars behind when his mobile vibrates in his pocket.

_Where are you?_

It's Harry. His heart skips involuntarily. They've not exactly been avoiding one another over the last few weeks, but their communication has been limited mostly to organizing this meetup.

_**3 cars to go.** _

_I'm right behind you._

He turns around as though he would be able to see Harry through the tinted windows. He of course cannot, but he feels an odd sense of calm knowing that he's close.

_Wait for me will you?_

_**Of course, Freddie wouldn't let me leave you behind even if I tried.** _

There no reply, but they are stopped once again, and this time it's to have their door opened. He grips Freddie's hand tight, and Ushers him out of the car. The lights are blinding. The screams are deafening. Louis would like to say that it's something he's gotten used to, but it's really not. Freddie clings tight to his leg, and he immediately picks him up for comfort. A manager of some sort is trying to usher them down the carpet, but he politely declines. He's staring intently on the door that's just opened behind him. He's not disappointed.

Harry steps out of car dressed entirely in black. When he stands fully Louis can see the tight cut of his suit, and the discreet gold trim of his sheer black button down shirt. His hair is falling loose around his shoulders with a shine, and curl that catches the lights of the cameras. His shoes look black at first glance, but as the cameras flash, Louis can see the hint of gold sparkle reflected through them. He looks every bit the prince that he's playing tonight, and Louis feels a mixture of pride, and attraction, and love. Louis can't help but smile when he sees Freddie reach for Harry. He feels an overwhelming feeling of guilt at keeping them apart, but maybe this will be a turning point for everyone. He sees tonight as the start of something good.

“Looking good Styles.” Louis speaks into Harry's ear. He sees a hint of a smirk on his lips, but gets no reply. They work their way down the carpet. Harry, being one of the main actors, has many scheduled stops. Louis doesn't mind, and Freddie is loving the attention. Louis thinks that Freddie has talked more than Harry. Their conversation has also gotten easier. Louis keeps making Harry laugh by telling juicy stories about different media personalities he's met over the last few years. Harry tells Louis who's wearing what. Louis tells Harry about Freddie's first loose tooth, Harry tells Louis about having dinner with Niall. It's all just so easy, and light. Louis just wants to sit Harry down and have a proper talk. He imagines a life with Harry in it again. They are nearing the end of their trip down the red carpet, and Harry has one more interview scheduled. Louis is leaning close, telling Harry a silly joke just to get him flustered for his next interview. They are still laughing, heads close, and Freddie in Harry's arms when they walk into the view of E!News. A friendly woman by the name of Lauren introduces herself.

“So, I want to start off by congratulating you Harry on your recent article in People. We are so proud of you.” Harry smiles bright, and bows his head at the praise.

“Thank you very much.” She waits for him to elaborate, but he of course does not. He didn't do it for attention after all.

“And you have with you two special guests today. Louis, and Freddie Tomlinson. Is this your first red carpet?“ She directs the question at Freddie who nods, and smiles big at the camera. Lauren directs her attention back to Harry. “So it's hard to ignore that you, and Louis made a big splash in the media by coming out mere days from one another. And now here you are together making a very cute picture. Is there anything you want to announce here in E!News?” Harry's smile falters just a little as he looks to Louis. The question shouldn't catch him off guard, but every other interviewer has effectively avoided the drama that's happened between them a month ago. Louis was starting to believe with more than a little bit of hope that they were old news. Harry is still staring at Louis, and Lauren was beginning to stare too when Louis realises that Harry is waiting for him to answer the questions.

Not at all prepared, he blurts out a short “Friends, just friends.” Lauren turns back to Harry who repeats Louis’ answer “friends”. He quickly excuses himself, and walks towards the entrance of the building, leaving Louis trailing after him.

 

 

Louis catches up to them when he gets inside. There is a special viewing area set up for young guests. It's full of soft couches and chairs, colouring books, and lots of snacks, healthy, and not. They choose to drop Freddie off at the supervised area because he immediately finds people his own age, and surprisingly, even a few he knows.  The adult area is serving champagne, and adult snacks. Freddie waves to them happily, and they walk quietly to the other end of the theatre.

“Was that ok?” Louis asks as soon as they are somewhat alone. Harry turns to him only slightly.

“What, leaving Freddie? I'm sure he will be fine.”

“No, the interview. I didn't know what to say. Was it ok if I said we are friends?”

“It's the truth isn't it?” Harry replies. Louis stops him, spinning him so that they are face to face.

“I don't know. Is it?” Harry looks tired. He looks tired of the conversation. He looks tired of Louis.

“I don't know Louis. Is it what you want? You want to be my friend? You want us to be friends?” The emphasis on the word _friends_ shakes Louis. The word friend is just a shit word. A shit, mediocre, sub par word. But it's better than being nothing to Harry. He doesn't want that. He wants so much more than that. But he needs for Harry to trust him first. He needs to be a friend first.

“Yes Harry. I want to be your friend. I want to be your best friend. I love you.” He tries to reach for his hand, but Harry pulls away, and grabs his arm instead, moving them towards the theatre once again.

 

 

The movie is good. Of course it is, it's Disney. Harry's character is kind, and sweet. His voice melds beautifully with his costar. Louis tells him this several times during the film. In fact he talks almost the entire way through the movie until Harry effectively tells him to shut up. Louis just rolls his eyes, but he knows that Harry is nerved up, so he behaves.

When the movie is over, they are informed of an after party that is happening at a nearby venue.

“I'm going home to put the little sugar monster to bed. Are you going out to dance the night away prince?”

“I might. I don't know. Can I go say goodbye to Freddie first?” Harry asks.

“Of course. You know, if you aren't in the mood to party, you are always welcomed to join us at home for a late snack, and early bed time.” As soon as the words are out Louis can hear how inappropriate he sounds. He opens his mouth to apologise, but Harry is just shaking his head. He looks at Louis with a look of sadness for a moment, and turns towards the children's area.

 

 

He finally gets Freddie home. The snacks are out of the question as Freddie is fast asleep by the time the car drops them off at the house. He doesn't even wake up as Louis is gently undressing him, and placing him in his bed. Louis gives him a kiss on the forehead, and quietly closes the door.

He wanders into the kitchen, tie loosened, and shirt slightly unbuttoned. He can't help but notice how empty the house feels. He opens the fridge door, but finds nothing interesting. He makes his way to the sitting room, and slips through the door to the back deck. When he sits down he automatically looks to the place that Harry would be sitting if he were there. Harry. He is what's missing. The realisation doesn't come as a huge surprise, but the silence in the house is becoming overwhelming. Louis just misses him.

But Harry is a complex man. And Louis knows that he's still hurting. Of course he is. Louis is too. He needs to give him time. He needs to give him patience. And then maybe, just maybe they could work towards something more. He ends up drifting off on the lounge chair. His mind blissfully turned off to all of the worry, and stress.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last long. When he jolts awake the sky is pitch black, he's chilled from the hours of no sun, and his phone is blasting in his pocket. When he looks down he sees that it's about 2am, and that it's Harry calling him.

“Harry, are you alright?” He asks, concern in his voice.

“Louis, what do you want from me?” Harry asks point blank. Louis can't form a response because he has no idea what Harry is talking about.

“Excuse me?” He blurts out.

“For the two of us, our life, our relationship. What do you want from me?” Harry says a little more forcefully. Louis is at a loss for words.  primarily because he hasn't really thought about what he wants from Harry beyond getting him back into Louis' life.  Also because not even ten minutes prior he had been unconscious. So he just starts rambling, trying to find the right words as he goes.

“I want us to be close again. I want things to go back to the way they were before.”

“Friends?” Harry's asks, although it doesn't sound as much of a question as a statement.

“Yes, best friends. I love you H. I miss you.” There's silence on the other end of the line. Louis tries to be patient. He listens to Harry's breath.

“I can't be your friend. Not anymore.” The words throw him off. It takes a moment to process what Harry is saying.

“You don't...what?” Louis stumbles. Words aren't forming.

“I'm going home Lou, back to England. Mom misses me. I need… something. Something different. Send my love to the little lad.”

“Harry!” Louis yells, but the line has already gone dead. Louis knows from the sounds in the background that he's already at the airport.

 

July 11, 2021

 

“Yes Mum, I fucked up. Again.” Louis sighs into the phone. It's early. Too early to be having this conversation, Louis thinks. But when Freddie’s up, everyone's up.

“Don't be so hard on yourself love. You thought you were doing the right thing.” Jay tries to sooth him.

“But I didn't, did I? Am I that dense that I can't see when I am hurting someone? Is every relationship I ever have going to end this way?”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic Lou. Your relationship with Harry isn't over. You can fix this.”

“How? He's in England. He left the continent to get away from me!” Louis knows his voice is raised too high when Freddie covers his ears, and scowls over his bowl of cereal. He mouths a silent sorry to him, and moves to the next room.

“Yes, England. You remember England don't you? Big Ben, always rains, long live the Queen? Oh, and where you two were both raised. He wasn't trying to get away from you Louis. He was just doing what you are doing right now. He needed his mum.” Louis sighs, and looks out the nearest window. It's just past 8am, and the heat is already visible, waves of it rising from all dark surfaces. He looks back to Freddie, who is happily swinging his legs on the kitchen stool. He's humming a tune that sounds suspiciously like Live While We're Young.

“What should I do? Please, just this time tell me, I don't want to figure this out the hard way.” Louis pleads into the phone. He hears his mother chuckle.

“You have to figure out what you want from Harry, and then decide if it's worth losing him to try to get that. Then you have to prove to him that you are serious. He needs to learn to trust you again Boo. Because I think that a lot of that was lost.”

“That's not a solution.” Louis whines.

“Ok, fine. Do you love him?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Are you in love with him?” This one takes Louis back. He pauses for a moment. But the answer is clear. “I am, yeah.” Admitting it out loud already lifts a huge weight from his shoulders, while creating a whole new set of worries.

“Are you willing to risk everything to tell him that?” Jay asks point blank, not sugarcoating anything.

“It would be better than never knowing, and losing him forever.”

“Then you have to tell him, AND you have to show him.”

“Show him.” Louis repeats.

“Show him.” Jay echos.

“Ok, I know what I have to do. Thanks Mum, love you.”

“Love you too boo.”

 

~•○●●○•~

 

“Briana, I need a huge favour. ” Louis says as soon as she opens the door for him and Freddie to come in. Freddie gives her a big hug, and goes straight to his room to check on his toys.

“Oh yeah? What's that?” Briana chirps happily. She loves it when he owes her favours, although he isn't sure how excited she's going to be about this one.

“I want to take Freddie to England.” She gives him a look, and raises her eyebrow. It's not like he's never taken him before, but it was planned months in advance, and Louis lost a lot of weekends with him as a result.

“Freddie only has a month left of summer vacay. You didn't forget that did you?” She gives him a condescending look.

“No I didn't bloody forget. I want to take him soon... like now.” She finally gives him the look he was expecting.

“Now?! You just want to up and leave the country with him with no notice, no preparation, no chance to get him ready?!?” She's rambling, and she's getting angry, but Louis knows that she's just worried.  Missing Freddie is a constant problem that they both share. He gets it. “What about you? Don't you have a life, a job?”

“I'm sorry Bri, I know this is short notice. And no, I'm on vacation right now too. I would be more than happy to have you and Marcus join us. I just, I need to go. It's absolutely an emergency, but I can't stand the idea of losing more time with him. And Mum misses him. He hasn't seen his aunts and uncle in months. Just, please consider it. Please.” He watches her as she paces in the spacious kitchen. She finally pauses to look at him, concern still on her face.

“How long do I have?” She asks, “To think about it.” Louis takes it as a glimmer of hope.

“I'm leaving in three days one way or another. I would just really like for Freddie to be with me.” 

“OK, no.” She pauses. “I mean, yes, yes." She says again almost to herself. "You can take him.” She still doesn't seem happy, but she's nodding her head. “OK, listen. I haven't told anyone this yet, so kindly keep your mouth shut.” He nods enthusiastically, hardly able to contain his excitement. “I can't really fly right now.” She puts her hand on her belly. A slight smile crosses her lips.

“Oh my God, seriously?!” Louis gets up to give her a congratulatory hug.

“Sshhh, I said mouth shut.” She scolds him, even though she's smiling. “I was actually going to talk to you about taking Freddie a little more, because I'm absolutely exhausted, and I feel so guilty not being able to be active with him. This isn't what I had in mind, but I think he'll have a lot more fun with you, and your family than boring old me.” Louishugs her again, and she wrinkles her nose like she doesn't like it. “Just be careful with him Louis please? And think of me, get him to call me a lot. Like, every day.”

“Of course, thank you.” He breaks away from her, and heads towards the door. “You are getting the best baby gift.” He calls out as the door closes.

“Oh my God, shut up!” He hears her yell again before the door closes.

 

July 15, 2021

 

They land at Heathrow around noon on a sunny Thursday afternoon. The weather is warm because it's July, but not the debilitating heat that California brings with it. Freddie has an admirable ability to sleep almost the entire time they are in the air, so while Louis is slowly dragging his feet on the asphalt, Freddie is skipping happily along, trying to slip from his father's tight grip at every chance. They make their way to a waiting car. Louis decided they should stay in London on their first night. It's too long of a drive to Doncaster after that long of a flight, plus Louis thought it would be fun to show Freddie around the city.

They arrive at the hotel in quick time. Freddie barely lifts his head at the Grand foyer. Louis remembers back to the first time he was in a hotel like this. It is times like this when he truly sees the difference in his childhood from his own child's. Times like this it makes him sad.

“Well Freddie ol’ lad. Are you ready for a big adventure?” Louis asks his little companion once they get their luggage stored safely in their room.

“Yes!” Freddie cheers. “Can we get ice cream?”

“Of course. But we need lunch first. And I got a bit of a surprise for you!” Freddie looks up in awe, waiting for Louis to reveal his big secret. “Liam is joining us!” Freddie keeps staring, obviously still waiting for the surprise. Louis sighs. “Liam!”

“Did he bring me a present?” Freddie asks. Looking for the catch.

“No, Liam is the surprise! I haven't seen him in ages!” Freddie just stares him down. His look of confusion unwavering.

“Isn't that a surprise for you then?” He asks. Louis can't really argue. Partly because he's tired, and partly because Freddie's kind of right.

“Alright kid, let's shoot your mum a quick text, then we'll be off.” Freddie riles up his energy once again, and runs for his discarded shoes.

 

 

Louis didn't realise how good it would feel to just be in the UK. He can feel an extra bounce in his step. A sense of familiarity washes over him. Then when they round the corner to the small cafe that he agreed to meet Liam, the feelings are intensified. Liam walks quickly towards them, and wraps him in a full hug. Louis wraps his arms around him, and just let's himself sink into the feeling of family.

“It's so good to see you. Wow, it's been months man. Months.” Liam squeezes once more before he releases him, and turns to Freddie.

“Do you remember me?” He asks quietly. Freddie looks like he's going to play shy for a moment, and Louis can see the look of heartbreak forming on Liam face already.

“You were my surprise.” Freddie says simply, pulling Louis’ hand in the direction of food. Liam looks pleased with Freddie's answer, and follows them into the cafe.

 

“So what's the game plan?” Liam asks once they are seated, and have their orders taken. Louis pauses for a moment, wondering how much he should actually tell Liam. They are really close, but Liam is ever the diplomat, and any attempt to tell his version of the past few months will definitely be met with a lecture.

“We are spending the night here in London.” Liam nods enthusiastically. “Then tomorrow we are going to Doncaster. I'm dropping Freddie off with Mum.”

“Dropping him off? You aren't staying with your Mum?” Liam is understandably confused. He knows how little time he gets with his parents, and siblings. Louis takes deep breath.

“I have some urgent business to take care of.” He looks at the floor, a sure tell that he's lying.

“Really, I would have thought that all of your business is in LA.” Liam responds. He doesn't say it to he hurtful although Louis can still hear it in his voice. He decides to just get out with it. He looks at Liam again.

“Well, this urgent business just flew home because I did something to hurt him, although I'm not sure what exactly. Not yet.” He can see the realisation spread across Liam’s face.

“You mean?” He stutters.

“Yes, Harry.” Louis replies.

“But, that's a long way to travel because you made Harry pout.” Liam says suspiciously. He's already putting two and two together.

“I hurt him because I wanted to be his friend, and that just wasn't enough for him anymore.” Louis just comes out with it. If Harry accepts him, they will tell the world. If he doesn't, Liam will be the first place he goes for a good cry. Liam is literally speechless. He's just sitting across from Louis with his mouth wide open. No expression, no noise. Louis just shrugs his shoulders, digs into his freshly produced food, and starts eating. The silence lasts for a good 5 minutes aside from Freddie occasionally asking what random things are on his plate. Louis is a quarter through his sandwich when Liam finally speaks.

“What in the hell have I missed over the last few months?”

“You have no idea pal”

 

~•○●●○•~

 

The rest of the day is a blur of tourist traps, and fast food. By the time he leaves Liam, and gets Freddie into bed, he's dead on his feet. The room is quiet, and dark, but Louis can't sleep. He's got too much on his mind, and too much worry in his heart. He turns to his phone, and begins flipping through the various social media apps he has downloaded. He makes his way into instagram, and uploads a few from the day. He tags Briana in a few. But when he gets to the last one in his roll, he pauses. This one isn't for everyone. It's for one person. He stares for a few moments at the picture of him and Freddie outside his old flat. The first time he's been away from his mum, the first time he considered himself an adult. So many firsts, and they were there at that flat, with Harry. Louis sticks his phone on the charger, as he lays down on the bed beside a sleeping Freddie. He curls around the small figure, and closes his eyes, hoping for sleep to come.

 

July 16, 2021

 

They are both up, and on the road bright and early the next morning. Freddie is over the moon. Thanks to technology he is incredibly close to his grandparents, and all of Louis’ siblings. Louis wonders sometimes if they call him more than they call Louis. Leaving him with his mom is one less thing to stress Louis out.

“Why does everyone drive wrong?” Freddie pipes up from the back seat. It takes a moment for Louis to clue in to Freddie's comment, so he decides to play along.

“What do you mean buddy?” He asks as he smirks into the rear view mirror.

“You are driving on the wrong side! Everyone is!” Freddie exclaims in frustration. Louis laughs, and shakes his head.

“This is the right way to drive. Those Americans are the silly ones.” Louis replies.

“Aren't we Americans?” Freddie asks. It's an innocent question, but it tugs at something inside Louis. Something that he keeps buried deep inside. He takes a sweep of the countryside through the windows of the car. He looks at the cars on the road with him. He remembers taking this very route as a child. Usually for special class trips, or summer holiday trips. This is him.

“No buddy, I'm not American. And you are a lucky one. You are both. You are American, and British! That means that you have two whole countries that love you! Isn't that cool?” He looks towards Freddie with a hopeful look, who looks like he's contemplating the situation.

“When we are at school we sing the national anthem. Does England have a national anthem?”

“Yeah, of course. I'll teach it to you sometime.” Freddie nods, satisfied with the conversation.

“How long until we get there?” Freddie asks to follow up.

“Not long lad, just relax, not long.”

 

They arrive to a swarm of beautiful women, and children, all trying to clamour for the attention of the youngest Tomlinson. It fills Louis’ heart, he's taken off guard by his arms filling with a hug from his mum. He sinks into it, feeling the comfort of her warmth.

"Good job boo." She says.  He doesn't have to ask her why.  He knows, he did the right thing this time.  

"Thanks Mum, thanks for helping." She simply nods, and hugs him again.

 

Louis notices that the older four girls begin to carry platters of food and drink towards the back garden.  Freddie happily trails behind an older Ernest, holding a stack of plastic cups. Louis begins to make his way to follow the crowd when his mother stops him.

“So what's the plan Lou? When are you seeing Harry?” She gets right to the point.

“I have no idea. I don't even know where he's at. He told me that he was going home to see Anne. I thought I would just maybe show up and hope he's there.” Louis knows it's a horrible plan, but it's as far as he's gotten in the last few days. Jay's face is full of concern, but she doesn't argue with him.

“Well, what are you doing here then? Go get your boy.” She pats his face, and smiles. He hesitates a moment and looks towards the back garden. “He's fine Boo, go.”

 

Louis has a speech, he has a whole routine planned. The road to Anne and Robin's house comes into view. He takes a deep breath, and tells himself that it's all going to be fine. It's getting dark by the time the house comes into view. There is a soft glow coming from the windows, giving Louis a renewed sense of hope along with an increasing sense of anxiety. He gets out of the car, and jogs up the steps. He checks his clothes before he knocks, and tries to fix his hair. He's never been more nervous, but he's also excited, because if this all goes well, it will be more than worth it. He wraps his knuckles on the door. When the door opens it's not Harry on the other side. He stands face to face with Anne. Her expression is closed, not really a reaction he was expecting

“He's not here Louis.”

“Um, hi Anne. I didn't know. He said he was coming to see you. I took a chance.” He sounds nervous. He is nervous. “Do... do you know where he might be?”

“Why don't you come in?” Anne offers, although Louis is smart enough to know that's it's more of an order. He silently follows her as she walks into the house, slipping off his shoes, and discreetly looking around for signs that Harry has been there. Anne sits a cup of tea in front of him as he sits down at the kitchen table. She slides in the seat across from him, and stares him down for a few minutes. “What are you doing here Louis?” Anne asks after a moment. It throws him off for a second, mainly because he just told her why he is there.

“I came to see Harry. I need to see him.” He stutters out. Anne's stare doesn't waver.

“I know that. You said that already. Why do you need to see him? What do you want from him?”

“We had a bit of a row. I just want to make it right.” Louis responds. He feels his defenses rising. This is feeling a lot like an interrogation.

“You know Harry talks to me right? I know that you two had an argument. He was really hurt when he showed up here Lou.”

“I know, and I know that a lot of that can be made better if I just talk to him. I need to make him understand. I came to England to make this right.” Her face softens.

“I know Lou, I'm sorry. It's just that Harry has had a rough few months. I'm worried about him. And he told me." She pauses, struggling with her words. "He told me that he loves you.” Louis can feel his throat restrict, and his palms start to sweat. “He told me that he's fallen in love with you, and that you don't feel the same. I don't blame you for wanting to try to apologise Louis, but I just don't know if that's what he needs to hear right now.” Louis can feel all of the emotions that he's been pushing down for the last few days start to come to the surface. His eyes prickle as he stares down into his almost empty cup.

“I do love him.” He says almost to himself.

“You…?” Anne questions. Louis looks her in the eye, the look of surprise, and joy set on her face.

“I love him.” He chokes out, tears spilling down freely. “I'm in love with him. I didn't know. I didn't know that he was in love with me. It was just supposed to be friends. And it changed. I don't know how. I don't know when, but I love him so much, and these last few days have been torture. I just need to see him. I need to talk to him. Please.” He's openly crying now. Anne jumps up to wrap her arms around his shoulders. She rubs his back, and talks sweet nonsense into his ear until he calms down.

“He's at the bungalow.” She whispers. Louis laughs.

“Seriously?”

“You know how sentimental he can be. Just taking a trip down memory lane I guess. Go see him love, it will be ok. I promise.” He nods, and wipes his eyes. She smiles again and gives him a hug. “I love you Lou, you're a good man.”

“Thank you Anne. That means a lot.”

“Bring that little one around sometime will you?” She requests as she walks him to the door.

“Of course. How about next week? He's at mum's right now.” She looks pleasantly surprised, and nods in agreement. He bids her goodnight, and walks out to the car, heading for a very familiar place.

 

 

There seems to be no life coming from the old house. Louis can't help but smile at the memories flooding into his mind as walks up to the door. He knows the right thing to do would be to knock, but he tries the door, and it's open. The entryway to the home is a dark space, but he immediately sees the glow of a fire coming from the back garden. When he walks through the back door his eyes fall on a silhouette hunched in a lawn chair. He's staring towards the flame, obviously not having heard Louis walk out.

“Harry” The man in question startles out of his chair. His expression turns from fear to confusion when he realises it's Louis standing in front of him.

“Louis? What are you doing here?” His look isn't the one of happiness that Louis was hoping for.

“I needed to see you Harry. I needed to explain.” Harry turns back to his chair to sit down.

“There's no need to explain. I'm sorry if I was harsh on the phone, but you could have called if you were just looking for an apology.” He's not looking at Louis. The light of the fire is reflecting a look of sadness, and Louis can't decide if he feels sorry for hurting him, or angry for being brushed off.

“I'm not here for an apology H. And if you would just look at me, maybe I would be able to tell you why I am here.

“No offense Lou, but I'm really not in the mood to hear it.” Harry folds his arms over his chest, completely closing himself off. Louis sits in the chair next to him.

“Harry listen…”

“No, you listen!” Harry suddenly stands again, walking away from the fire, he strokes his hands through his unkempt hair. “I love you. I wanted you. I was willing to be there. I wanted to be the one who stood by your side. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I didn't mean... “ He stops, his chest heaving. He turns to look at Louis. The anger slips out of his eyes just a bit. “I'm sorry Lou, but you can't fix this. I didn't mean for it to be like this. I didn't expect to fall in love with you.” Louis can see the tears on Harry's cheeks.

He steps forward, ignoring the look of pain in Harry's eyes as he touches his face, wiping away the tears. “Harry, please listen to me?” He nods finally, and Louis allows himself to relax “I told you that I love you for the first time in this house.” Louis gestures towards the house. Harry looks confused, but he doesn't respond. “We were in the kitchen. We were trying to order pizza. You sided with my suggestion of toppings even though you didn't like sausage. I told you I loved you.” Harry smirks at the memory. “I've told you I love you a millions times since, probably more. It's not even a question. You've been the most important person in my life. We were never just friends. But you opened my eyes over the last few months. I love you Harry. And I'm in love with you, and I never want to spend another minute on this earth without you knowing how much I love you.” He's so close to tearing up again. Harry is still staring at him, expressionless. He takes a step back, giving them both some space, but Harry stops him by grabbing his hand. Louis looks at their intertwined fingers, and smiles hopefully.

“You're in love with me?” Harry rasps out quietly. Louis looks up, and nods. “When, how?”

“About the minute you told me you were leaving I knew I needed to follow you. I realised I was in love with you when I was willing to give up everything just to talk to you face to face. I'm sorry it took so long...too long.”

“Not too long Lou. Not too long. I didn't come here for you to follow me. I didn't know.”

“I didn't either. But we're here now. And I was hoping you would give me a chance? A real chance. I would like to take you on a date, and ask you to be my boyfriend, and then probably shortly afterwards ask you to marry me.” The words slip out, but Harry is smiling wide. Louis smiles back, and leans in for a kiss. Harry wraps his whole body around Louis’ smaller frame, and kisses him hard and deep. Louis responds immediately, and they meld together almost as if they are one person.

“What about Freddie?” Harry asks as they break apart. “Where is he? You didn't leave him did you?”

“No, he's with me. He's at mum's actually.” Louis replies with a swell in his heart that Harry would be concerned for his time with his son.

“Does he know? About this?”

“He knew before I did.” Louis laughs. He loves you too Harry.” Harry beams through a fresh set of tears.

“Maybe we should go to him. I've missed him so much.”

“We could do that. We can do whatever you want. I'll be right here next to you.”

 

~•○●●○•~

 

“Lou..” Harry whines, pushing against Louis’ chest. “Louis, we can't do this here. It's your parents house!” Harry complains.

“You are the one who wanted to come all the way here. I can't help it if Freddie’s asleep.

“It's not happening Lou. Not here. And what happened to taking me on a date? I thought you were going to woo me.” Harry teases. They are sitting outside, in the garden. The breeze is warm, and comforting. The bench they are perched on is quite big, but they are huddled together, seemingly not able to separate since they left the old bungalow a few hours prior.

“You want me to woo you Styles?” Harry nods “Wine, and dine you?” Harry giggles. “Yeah, I want to do that.” Louis leans in once again to kiss Harry's red lips.

“I know it seems ridiculous, after everything we've been through. But I want to hold your hand. I want to call you my boyfriend. I have so many regrets Lou. So many moments in the last ten years that I just didn't open my eyes to. So many opportunities wasted. So many relationships that I threw away. It's because they weren't you.” Louis looks at him, surprised.

“I didn't know. I didn't realise that you felt that way.”

“I didn't either. Not until I thought I was losing you again. If those pictures didn't come out, I probably would have been happy to keep what we had for the rest of my life. I didn't realise what we were missing out on. And I didn't realise that what I felt for you was more than loving my best friend.” He pauses for a breath, and takes Louis’ hand in his. Louis looks at his face, pale from the moonlight. “I didn't realise how long I've been in love with you Lou. Always, it's been always.” Louis is speechless. He always knew that there was something, maybe even the potential to be more, but his life since he met Harry has been fast forward. Ten years of being scared, excited, and tired. Love was never an emotion that he had time for, besides his family of course. “You don't have to say anything.” Harry brings him back out of his daze. “I just thought that you should know. I want you to know that I've loved you through it all. And I will continue to love you, probably for the rest of my life.”

“Harry, that's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you. I love you so much.” He looks at Harry's smile, and back down to his lap. “I wish I had more to offer you. You deserve the entire world H.”

“What do you mean? You are the world to his me. You are everything.”

“I'm a single dad who can barely leave the state without it being a big to do. I haven't been in England for any major holiday in over 5 years. I feel like I'm going to be chaining you to my life, because my life can't change for you.” He feels guilty for ruining the perfect moment they were having, but Harry deserves to have all of the information. He glances at Harry once more, and instead of the doubt that he expects to see on his face, it's amusement.

“Louis, you think I haven't thought of that? I'm not a child anymore. I'm not someone you need to protect. When I left you after Freddie was born, that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Because I lost you, my best friend, and I lost the opportunity to get to know the greatest kid I've ever met, and I've met a lot of children. I want to be around for the rest of it. And Freddie won't be a child forever, and I want to be there for that as well. We will travel, we will see the world together. And we will happily wake up every morning, no matter where we are, together.” Harry's cheeks blush. “At least, I hope.”

“Yes,” Louis replies quietly, “wherever you are. That's where home is.” Louis replies, and he realises in that moment that he means it.

 

August 6, 2021

 

“I miss him already.” Harry pouts as Briana's car pulls out the driveway.

“He's just going to be a few miles away. And he promised that he would call you before bed.” Louis rubs his back, and tugs him towards the kitchen. Harry slumps on the stool, and cradles the cup of tea that Louis has sat in front of him.

“I know, but we've had him all to ourselves for almost three weeks. The house feels empty without him.” Louis doesn't point out that Harry doesn't actually live in this house, because he suspects that it's only a matter of time before it happens.

“School starts soon. He will have to get used to the routine again. We will all adjust. Not to mention Briana's request for a more equally shared custody.” Louis smiles involuntarily when he remembers the documents that Briana gave him when she come to pick up Freddie. Harry is smiling too. Louis doesn't know if it's happiness for Louis, or happiness for himself.

“Do you think Briana's ok with me?” Harry asks again. It's really important for Harry that everyone is happy. It makes Louis’ heart want to burst.

“She's fine. Mom's fine, Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe , Daisy, Earnest, and Doris are fine. Gemma is fine. Freddie is fine. Everyone is happy for us H.” He smirks at Harry, and gets an eye roll in return.

“Pardon me for covering my bases.”

“You are doing great Harry. I love you, everyone I love, loves you.”

“I love you too.” Harry smiles this time. “You know, there are benefits to Freddie being gone for a few days.” Louis winks at Harry who rolls his eyes again, but also gets off the stool to runs his hands up Louis’ torso.

“Oh yeah? What's that?” Harry asks as he begins to nibble on the small part of Louis’ exposed collar bone.

“We don't have to be quiet.” Louis whispers in Harry's ear, making him groan, and begin to tug him to the bedroom.

 

 

“Fuck!” Louis shouts as he thrusts into Harry. Slick with sweat, he wraps his arm around Harry's waist to adjust his angle. It makes Harry's breath to pitch, and Louis knows that he's hit the right spot.

“Right there Lou, fuck, don't stop.” He doesn't, thrusting relentlessly into Harry's prostate.

“I wanna hear you H. Want to hear how much you want it.” Harry opens his mouth, and turns his face to the side, giving Louis a desperate look over his shoulder.

“Please, please fuck me. Fuck!” Louis gives him a smack that stings his hand, and leaves a mark on Harry's ass, but he knows it does things to Harry, he can see from the tension in his body that Harry is close.

“Come for me. Want to hear how much you love it. Love it when I'm rough with you?” Harry just moans loudly, and grabs onto himself to stroke out an orgasm. Louis grabs his wrist, and pulls it behind Harry's back. “You can do it.”

“Fuck!” Harry cries out, tears are forming in his eyes, and Louis gives him another short rap on the other side of his trembling backside.

“‘m gonna, fuck fuck fuck.” His body goes rigid, as he shoots out streams of come under him. Louis thrusts into him, and gives into his own orgasm after a few moments. He can't see Harry like this, desperate, and pleading without orgasm being far behind. He does well to last as long as he does.

 

 

Louis is settled in fresh sheets later that night, just the two of them, with Harry in his arms, nearly asleep when he for the first time in years feels like he's home.


End file.
